Be a Man!

Today I did my first fantasy football draft. If you know me well at all you know that sports really just arent my thing. I never really had a drive to be a part of them or even watch them. That was more of my brother’s arena. While he was going to sports camps and practicing different plays in the playbook, I was practicing piano and roller blading around the neighborhood. I was so thankful for my friends Adam and Lindsey Hood for helping with all of this draft business. I would have been up a creek without them.
While I was doing this I couldn’t help but feel a bit discouraged. In the Midwestern society in which I grew up and currently live it is more valued for a man to know about sports than it is for him to know about the arts. It was a constant thorn in my side growing up feeling like I didn’t measure up due to my lack of interest in athletics. Now, things have changed and there is more confidence there, but I still feel the sting of what was drilled in my brain by my school, and the area in which I lived.
On the spiritual side of this I feel like Satan is going to do anything he can to make me feel insecure or unworthy. This, right now, is just a series of many events the give a little jab at my insecurities. Another example happened at the gas station the other day. I was renting a movie from Redbox and 2 redneck guys get out of their truck and start staring at me as they walk in the store. One of them walks in but the other just stands there and stares. After I finish getting my movie I look over and say “yes?” to which he replies. “Are you wearing make up boy?” (keep in mind I was inbetween shows and had some eyeliner residue. It’s really hard to get off.) I said “Yea, I probably have some hanging on. Im in a show here in town and I am inbetween showings.” To which he ignorantly replied “A show for queers? (the word was stronger, but I edited it)” I responded with “No sir, a show for professionals.” and walked away. 1st off I am always shocked at the gall of people who can approach a total stranger and say things like that. 2nd, I think so many men have been deeply wounded by men like the hicks I encountered. They don’t always take the form of a redneck though. Sometimes they are business men, teachers, family members, or mentors.
I guess the point of this blog is to express that just because you love to leap across a dance floor instead of a hurdle, or hit high notes instead of homeruns, or act like a quarterback in a play instead of actually being one, or painting a portrait instead of writing in a playbook, doesn’t mean that you are any less manly or strong. So, to all my brothers in the arts, let go of the things other men have said or done to make you feel inferior or weak. You are strong and a true man. Be confident!

Catch up! Slowing Down.

So this is going to be a bit of a catch up blog. Lots happening. This summer has just flown by and now the air is starting to chill and that wonderful Autumn feel is making its way into our lives! Not to wish the summer away, but I am thankful for fall being here on the brink. So recently we had auditions and they went super well. I felt so encouraged and affirmed for all that I have worked on and the growth the Lord has blessed me with. I am constantly humbled by how good the Lord has been at providing for me at just the right time.
After auditions we had a week and a half of rehearsals for the Christmas show. Talk about a lot of learning. I felt like I was back in college again and enjoyed every second of what I was being taught. I think I have a new appreciation for learning now that I am out in the real world. It is exciting. Due to one of the guys playing Joseph being out I was put into the rehearsals much more than I had anticipated. It pushed me out of my comfort zone a ton but allowed form some great discoveries both as an actor and as a child of God. To learn more about the birth of my savior was so refreshing. My biggest prayer right now is that this learning and growing in my relationship with Jesus will continue, and thrive even more. That my desire for him would be greater and that intimacy stronger. Beginning to truly abide in Christ and learn from his word. Went off on a tangent there....sorry. haha
After a lot of work in rehearsals I escaped to Vermont for a few days to visit my amazing Aunt and Uncle, John and Mary Wilson. Talk about a relaxing visit. I spent a lot of time eating amazing food and drinking some wonderful wines. I relaxed by the lake and kayaked around exploring an island in the middle of it. I had an amazing hike with my uncle where there was no one else on the mountain but us. Disconnected for a bit and allowed to slow down and enjoy some peace and quiet. Not even hurricane Earl could ruin my time. I just stayed indoors for one day and read and listened to music and ate wonderful food prepared by my aunt and uncle. While I was there I got to spend some time with my Cousin Devin and his wife and Kids. The kids have grown up so so much. I took Logan and Guinevere out on the lake in the canoe and it was a blast. Logan and I paddling and Guinevere directing the way. Really great kids. The trip was way too short, but I enjoyed every second of it. Thanks John and Mary for yet another amazing visit to Vermont.
I returned back to Missouri and got back in the swing of things here. It was surreal for me at first. Going from all the pressure of rehearsing for a bigger role to going back into the smaller one I thankfully have now, I felt like I wasn't doing enough. Like I was missing something. haha. It's good to be back though and not that the weather is cooler I feel the constant draw to be outdoors. Charlie dog and I have spent most of our days outside walking or going to the park. We went to the lake today with my dear friend Casey Chambers and enjoyed this perfect day. Having the sweet tooth that I have I decided to finish out my day by making a cake. My mother trained me to be a baker so I am going to use those skills. Although it will lead to me dancing in the back due to love handles. haha.
So, I will close now as a blessed me and continuing to be so. I am thankful for all that I have been given and humbled because I deserve none of it. Wind is blowing outside and through the leaves and I can hear the sweet sound of my wind chime. Natures orchestra. I can't help but feel at peace and loved beyond compare. Blessed man I am.