So, Autumn is upon us and the leaves are reaching their peak. Nights are chillier and the crispness in the air just has a way of making you want to curl up with a hot drink and a book all day. I love fall. I love the beauty and color. I love the food! I love the holidays!
Right now though I am reflecting back to a fall that was horrible for me. A relationship had just ended and I was left feeling like nothing would ever be the same. I had put everything in that basket and pushed anyone away that questioned it. Everything I had worked for was ripped away and I was forced to start over. I normally don’t mind winter, but that winter was brutal. It matched how my heart felt. It matched where I wanted to stay because I had reached rock bottom. I was bitter, angry, and depressed. Instead of celebrating the beauty of Autumn I was chanting with everyone on game of thrones…Winter is COMING!
Here is the beauty of how the Lord designed the seasons. Its the cliche that everyone uses, but its true. Winter is when things seem to die. They go within themselves and then at the right time….new life. The trees don’t die every year. They make it through the winter and then when the time is right….open up again. They Live through it. The shed the vulnerable parts and press on. Many plants do the same.
In that time I felt like the tree. I shed the vulnerable parts. The feelings I had. My heart, my desires, all had to be stripped away so that I could make it through the season to come. A season of trial and learning. A season of growth and healing. I feel like my winter might have lasted longer. I think it lasted several years. Years where I couldn’t open up. It wasn’t time for spring and even though I might try to move forward, the bitter wind of winter would bring me back to the hibernation state.
Plants respond to winter quicker than we do. Its a matter of life and death. A plants life is all about the Sun. Its all about light, the mighty force that they use to produce their food. Plants soak up the light, using it as the engine to power their continues growth. The same is true for us metaphorically too. In the winters of our lives the only thing sustaining us is the Light. The only thing keeping us growing is Truth. In those winters we might not want to see truth, and so we hinder the growth that could happen. For me that was very true. Only when we have the food to survive will we be able to open up to spring. Open up to life and the future the Lord has for us. I had spent several years soaking up the Light and then retreating back to darkness. I would feel the warmth and nourishment but then allow myself to hide. I wasn’t able to move on to the next season because I wasn’t allowing myself the nourishment I needed for it.
Plants respond to winter quicker than we do. Its a matter of life and death. A plants life is all about the Sun. Its all about light, the mighty force that they use to produce their food. Plants soak up the light, using it as the engine to power their continues growth. The same is true for us metaphorically too. In the winters of our lives the only thing sustaining us is the Light. The only thing keeping us growing is Truth. In those winters we might not want to see truth, and so we hinder the growth that could happen. For me that was very true. Only when we have the food to survive will we be able to open up to spring. Open up to life and the future the Lord has for us. I had spent several years soaking up the Light and then retreating back to darkness. I would feel the warmth and nourishment but then allow myself to hide. I wasn’t able to move on to the next season because I wasn’t allowing myself the nourishment I needed for it.
So, here I am years later. Its Autumn and Winter is coming, but for me….its Spring. The Lord in his graciousness walked me through a winter that lasted far too long. Walked me through my ups and downs. He taught me the importance of Light again. He taught me my dependence on truth. He taught me to get back up after falling countless times. He taught me how to forgive myself because he has forgiven me and covered me. He taught me that I am loved and worthy. He taught me that I can love in a way that isn’t selfish. He taught me that I am new, and I am ready to open up again.
As I sip on this Cinnamon Dolce latte and look at the leaves outside my house, I just say thank you. To a Heavenly father who Loves so well. For the gifts he gives for obedience and the grace he shows in times where I fight to be. A new season is coming, for all of us. Lets soak up the Light. Lets soak up the Truth and be ready for it.
As I sip on this Cinnamon Dolce latte and look at the leaves outside my house, I just say thank you. To a Heavenly father who Loves so well. For the gifts he gives for obedience and the grace he shows in times where I fight to be. A new season is coming, for all of us. Lets soak up the Light. Lets soak up the Truth and be ready for it.
