Tonight I went for a walk with Charlie and it was bitter cold. I had bundled up as much as possible yet the cold still was attacking any opening it could find. I was trying to move as quickly as possible and prompting Charlie to do his business as I drug him behind me. I decided to slow down the pace because there is no rushing my little pup and I realized what I was missing.
There is something about a cold night that slows everything down. Its as though everything around is huddled together trying to stay warm, and in the process it provides a peaceful night for thinking. The stillness of it all eliminates distractions except those in your own head. The smell of wood burning in fire places sweeps by with the wind relaxing you, reminding you that you are home….that you are safe.
Tonight in this peace I finally broke down from a few weeks of tough stuff. From relationship issues to family health issues to personal struggles. I feel like everything in the book was just thrown in my face and I am now picking up the broken pieces of heart left in its wake. Walking along in the still of this night reminded me to stop trying to control my life and everything in it and just let go and trust that God has a perfect plan. I have to be still, I have to seek his face, and I have to let go.
In a few days we will be celebrating the birth of Jesus. The birth of our savior who died for all of us. He died for me. He died so that I might have a new life, a life that is filled with his love. A life that is filled with his Joy. A life that he has a perfect plan for. I can celebrate because this baby grew up and experienced every temptation and struggle and trial and grief that I could ever imagine experiencing and he did not sin. He lived a life totally connected to his father in heaven.
Knowing that I am not alone, knowing that my heavenly father knows what I am going through and knows my fears and worries releases me to be broken. Releases me to be transparent and allow the grace that was given to me by Jesus comfort and guide me though the trouble times when they come. It allows me to let go of what others might think of situations or circumstances and focus on the significance of the one who truly matters, Jesus. He is the reason for the season, he is the reason for my life, he is the reason I can sing and have joy in my heart in the midst of sadness and sorrow.
Finishing my winter walk and thinking through the beauty of this precious gift. Applying that gift to my life as of late, the song Away in a Manger kept going through my head for some reason ( I know its odd). The last verse in particular: .
Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay
Close by me for ever and love me, I pray
Bless all the dear children in Thy tender care
And take us to Heaven to live with Thee there
Thank you Jesus for coming to this earth and for loving me and taking an interest in every detail of my life. Thank you for staying near me no matter what heart aches come and try to steal me away. Merry Christmas my dear friends. Thanks for the encouragement. Thanks for all the reminders of Jesus and redirecting me back to him.
