Peter Pan use to be one of my favorite Disney Characters. He could fly, he was brave, he had lots of friends, but most importantly…..he never grew up. He got to stay a kid forever and enjoy a carefree life (aside from Captain Hook and all). I think sometimes I try and be Peter Pan in my own life. I know I am getting older and I am totally ok with that, but I think sometimes the leadership that it entails sometimes scares me.
This year has been a challenge for me in a different way. Last year I seemed to be surrounded by awesome men of God who were always encouraging and speaking truth. I could vent out my problems and they were able to give advice and wisdom that was not tainted by extreme emotions or personal bias. This year many of those men are no longer prominent fixtures in my life. Which leaves a void. I am in a dressing room of men but the leaders we turned to for balance are not there any more. So, what now? I believe that is where the challenge lies. We….I….cannot stay the follower forever. I can’t sit back and rely on other people to speak truth to me and tell me who I am suppose to be or where I am suppose to go. I can’t rely on other people to balance my emotions if I am having a rough day. There is a calling to lead. To grow up and embrace a role that frankly scares me.
Growing into a leader means more responsibility. More people are looking to you just like I looked to those men who led in the past. Am I good enough. Will I have the right words to say to people. Then there’s the kicker, how do I keep the emotions in check when I am encountered with situations that stir me to get upset or insecure. I can’t do any of it, without Christ in me.. I believe that anything less than him working in and through is just a pseudo leadership.
All I know to do is soaking in truth daily. Surrounding yourself with it so that you are continually reminded of who you are in Christ and who he desires you to be. Reminded of what a true leader looks like through the example of Jesus. If this is a constant part of your life, I believe change is inevitable. I have a really hard time with this though. So that is my prayer, that the Lord would strengthen and encourage along this path into leadership. That he would direct and pour his truth and discernment into my heart so that my desires would be more in line with his, and that His glory would be more important than my own.
Although Peter Pan is awesome and flying around as a kid forever sounds super appealing, I don’t want to be left behind on this journey. I don’t want to miss out on the joys of growing up and learning, and becoming a man; and man who can lead; a man after God’s own heart.
