Well, Here I am again. I feel like I have been writing a lot more lately. Thats a good thing because I love to write. Its also a not so good thing sometimes because it usually means I have things I am processing. This one will be short and sweet though. This blog is to apologize.
My last post, which I have reverted to a draft, was written in a place of anger and frustration. It was written from a place of deep hurt that has just continued to grow deeper with situations that have happened. Unfortunately in all of this…..no one wins. There is loss all around.
So, I apologize for airing laundry on here and allowing my emotions to get the better of me. I do believe that it is important to express that Anger is an emotion that needs to be felt and processed. It is something that can bring out the worst in people and I believe that is what happened with my previous post. Social media of any kind is not the place to do that in the way that I did. After hearing some tough truth from my love, I made the decision to remove the post.
Human beings are complicated creatures. At the end of the day we are responsible for us and how we conduct ourselves. We are responsible for the character we have and the integrity that we show. My desire on this journey is to be a man of Character. A man who is quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger as it says in James. I want to be a reflection of Christ in my life. I want to love as I would want to be loved. I want to showcase the positive and healthy fruit that the Lord continues to produce in my life.
For those who are navigating similar journeys. I spoke to you before about continuing to fight. This is part of that fight. Acknowledging when you have not taken the high road and apologizing. Rising above situations and not stooping to a level that isn’t you or who you want to be.
I remember as a kid always wanting to be stronger. Always wanting to feel like I could stand up for myself. When my brother and I would get in fights I would immediately drop to the floor, if there was no escape, because my legs were the strongest part of me. I would just kick and pray that I would leave the fight unscathed. As an adult my body has gotten stronger but I feel like sometimes I revert back to that kid who fell to the ground and tried to escape the hurt with a few solid kicks. The same is true now as it was then….the kicks do nothing really. It might bring some instant gratification but you still end up hurt and you still don’t have the strength you hoped. True strength can come in the stillness and rootedness of someone who stands their ground with confidence.
So, instead of an angry post, I am replacing that was this. I am thankful for the family I have around me that has chosen to be supportive and loving. I am thankful for the relationship I am in and the fact the he was able to communicate an area I needed to grow in. I am thankful for my relationship with the Lord which is still intact and feeding my life. I am thankful for air in my lungs and a future that is bright. I am thankful for provision and for love. I am thankful. Releasing all this anger and embracing the Good that has come and humbling looking forward to what is ahead. Be kind out there y’all. Choose to rise above. Choose to love. It’s what we all truly need.
