So, I am settling into my new job and my house, and into this whole new chapter here in Branson. It has been really great. I am looking forward to summer here in the Ozarks and spending time at the Lake and enjoying all the fun of the outdoors here. Maybe even get a bit of a tan in the process and bleach out this naturally blonde hair of mine even more. haha. As far as my house goes, I just have a few more finishing touches and it should be complete. Feels so good to have my own place.
For the first time in awhile I feel drama free and genuinely happy. It is amazing when you start to remove the dirt and grime from your life how much of a rejuvenating effect it has. Like a exfoliating wash in a persons life. Haha. That being said, I think for the past couple years I have grown so accustom to the drama and heartache and just junk in my life, that now that a lot of it is gone I have this weird….bored feeling. I know that might not make sense to some, it kind of doesn’t make sense to me. I guess I was so busy making sure I was being all things to all people, and trying my best to balance so many parts of my life, that I was always busy. Always on the go. Now, I wake up and I read. I enjoy some time outside. I cook. I take dance classes. I take voice lessons. I work. I sit still and enjoy my life! Right now, I guess the best way to describe all of this is a delightful stillness. It is something that is taking some getting use to, but I am happy for it.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
So Fresh and So Clean!
It has been awhile since I last got on here and blogged. To get everyone up to date on me, I am currently living in Branson, Missouri where I am working at one of the local theaters in town. It has been a huge adjustment coming back here and realizing that I won’t be leaving for awhile. I was planning on going out on another ship, but through a series of events, I decided I needed to stay put for awhile and kind of recharge and redirect my life. God has been faithful to me in this decision and is doing such an amazing work in my life and my heart.
I have my own one bedroom apartment in downtown Branson which I am loving. I started out this 25th year of my life feeling kind of weird that I was 25 and didn’t even own a couch. All I had could fit in a couple Rubbermaid containers. Now I own a sleeper sofa, 2 chairs, a micro wave, bookshelves, etc, etc. I am no longer a gypsy….for now anyway. Haha. It has been really great having my own place though and being able to decorate and make it my own. I am really loving it. Now when I go shopping, instead of looking for clothes, I end up going to Kirklands and looking at housewares. It has been amazing to see the Lord love on me through other people too. I have dishes and pieces of furniture and decorating items that were all just given to me. Talk about humbling and amazing at the same time. My community of believers that I work with has just surrounded me with love. Christ’s love in them is so great and has been so encouraging.
In the midst of all of this change and excitement of starting a new job and having a new place of my own, I find myself lacking emotions. I generally consider myself an emotional person who is not afraid to show it. I think I am finding and learning more that being emotional doesn’t mean crying all the time or going on the rollercoaster of ups and downs, it means understanding emotions better and allowing them to be present, but not letting them rule you. That is a new feeling for me so it has been interesting to adjusting to this new emotional maturity. Thank you Lord for that blessing.
The fellowship that I have here is so sweet and so rich already, but I find myself still feeling alone. The curse of the bachelor. You get the freedom and excitement, but you have to take the empty house when you go home and the loneliness that can sneak in. I have found in this loneliness that the Word has become my source of restoration even more. My jealous heavenly father finally got me to sit still and through his Word he is finally getting back the intimacy that he has been missing….and I have been missing for that matter. Thank you Lord for this blessing.
I went to church with a friend this past Sunday and I cannot tell you how much of a homecoming it was. I got out of my car and 2 ladies that I love from my time at C of O were talking in the parking lot. They both looked over at me and stopped everything. Hugs were exchanged and a quick catch up on life ensued. I walked hand in hand with one of them into the church where he husband was. He took one look at me and almost started crying. “It is so good to see you again Curtis. Welcome home.” he said. I felt like the prodigal son returned. Immediately after that, a couple who I had traveled to Africa and Portugal with during college caught me and we exchanged hugs and just loved on each other a bit. With each interaction I felt my spirit being lifted and realized that maybe this is God’s way of showing me, yet again, this is where he wants me right now. There were many more reuniting moments that Sunday, but the sweet fellowship that day was like a spring of water in my heart. I drank deep and was encouraged. Thank you Lord for this blessing.
So I guess the word of the day is restoration. This year, I feel, is my year of restoration and learning. To put things back that were lost. To sew up old wounds and address them so that real healing can take place. To restore relationships on an earthly level, and also those with my heavenly father. To learn more about my craft of performing and praise the Lord with it. It is Spring time right now, what better time to usher in new growth and new beginnings than this. Thank you Lord of this Amazing Blessing and this wonderful new chapter in my life. Strengthen me and grow me.
I have my own one bedroom apartment in downtown Branson which I am loving. I started out this 25th year of my life feeling kind of weird that I was 25 and didn’t even own a couch. All I had could fit in a couple Rubbermaid containers. Now I own a sleeper sofa, 2 chairs, a micro wave, bookshelves, etc, etc. I am no longer a gypsy….for now anyway. Haha. It has been really great having my own place though and being able to decorate and make it my own. I am really loving it. Now when I go shopping, instead of looking for clothes, I end up going to Kirklands and looking at housewares. It has been amazing to see the Lord love on me through other people too. I have dishes and pieces of furniture and decorating items that were all just given to me. Talk about humbling and amazing at the same time. My community of believers that I work with has just surrounded me with love. Christ’s love in them is so great and has been so encouraging.
In the midst of all of this change and excitement of starting a new job and having a new place of my own, I find myself lacking emotions. I generally consider myself an emotional person who is not afraid to show it. I think I am finding and learning more that being emotional doesn’t mean crying all the time or going on the rollercoaster of ups and downs, it means understanding emotions better and allowing them to be present, but not letting them rule you. That is a new feeling for me so it has been interesting to adjusting to this new emotional maturity. Thank you Lord for that blessing.
The fellowship that I have here is so sweet and so rich already, but I find myself still feeling alone. The curse of the bachelor. You get the freedom and excitement, but you have to take the empty house when you go home and the loneliness that can sneak in. I have found in this loneliness that the Word has become my source of restoration even more. My jealous heavenly father finally got me to sit still and through his Word he is finally getting back the intimacy that he has been missing….and I have been missing for that matter. Thank you Lord for this blessing.
I went to church with a friend this past Sunday and I cannot tell you how much of a homecoming it was. I got out of my car and 2 ladies that I love from my time at C of O were talking in the parking lot. They both looked over at me and stopped everything. Hugs were exchanged and a quick catch up on life ensued. I walked hand in hand with one of them into the church where he husband was. He took one look at me and almost started crying. “It is so good to see you again Curtis. Welcome home.” he said. I felt like the prodigal son returned. Immediately after that, a couple who I had traveled to Africa and Portugal with during college caught me and we exchanged hugs and just loved on each other a bit. With each interaction I felt my spirit being lifted and realized that maybe this is God’s way of showing me, yet again, this is where he wants me right now. There were many more reuniting moments that Sunday, but the sweet fellowship that day was like a spring of water in my heart. I drank deep and was encouraged. Thank you Lord for this blessing.
So I guess the word of the day is restoration. This year, I feel, is my year of restoration and learning. To put things back that were lost. To sew up old wounds and address them so that real healing can take place. To restore relationships on an earthly level, and also those with my heavenly father. To learn more about my craft of performing and praise the Lord with it. It is Spring time right now, what better time to usher in new growth and new beginnings than this. Thank you Lord of this Amazing Blessing and this wonderful new chapter in my life. Strengthen me and grow me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)