I think when I blog I always want to have something deep to say or appear to have learned something amazing. Well, to night I am going to write a broken blog. I am not perfect and I am far from put together and it is only by the grace of God that I am able to do what I do.
It is off season right now for me which is the time for a performer in Branson where everything is shut down and you are out of work for a month or so depending on your job. During this down time you can either vacation or stay home and enjoy the lazy days. This year I decided, after debates and frustration, to stay home and relax. I started out making sure I started a steady routine of physical activity and time with friends I didn’t normally see. I took a little trip to see my friends in Arkansas and had a great time. Once the routine has started and I slowly faded into the mundane boredom that is off season when you are single and alone in an apartment. I have read 5 books and loved all of them, but I am tired of reading. I have worked out like crazy but I am bored with it and unmotivated. I have spent time with friends, but I also have to maintain a budget during this unemployed time. So, I started to watch my friends in rehearsals for Jekyll and Hyde for the local community theater.
Here in lies my recent frustration. Show people can be really rude. I don’t normally get an outside view of this because I am usually on the inside of the group, but my eyes have been opened. When doing a show you are in rehearsals a lot and working with the same people for hours upon hours. You build friendships that become like family and that is part of the reason I love theater because of the awesome friendships you build. Here is the flip side to this situation. If you are on the outside, you become invisible. Theater people are known for being some of the most accepting and loving people, but they are also known for being the most exclusive.
The past 2 night I have hung out with my friends that are some of the closest too me. I have known them since college. During dinner I was surrounded by several people that we don’t normally hang out with which is totally fine. Then I realize that I am completely out of the loop and conversation. So I try and chime in when appropriate. It seems like every time I do though I get the impression that it wasn’t my turn, or I was out of my element. I quickly realize that even though I have known some of these people for a long time, it is now Show World, and if you aren’t in it….you aren’t in the group.
Keep in mind this is totally innocent though because they don’t even realize it most of the time. I never really did until I experienced this other side. So this awesome group of people all working for the common goal of the show, gets so caught up in their own world they miss out on the other people around them that are actually their friends as well. I was talking to another friend about my frustration and she called me out for doing the same thing. I was floored, but challenged to make a change.
Each one of us has an opportunity to meet and interact with a myriad of different people on a daily basis. We have an impact on each of them for either the positive or the negative. We can either encourage growth and friendship or discourage through insecurity or lack of care. As I start to approach my own rehearsal period for this upcoming season I am challenged to open my eyes to the outside faces I come in contact with. Just because I am a part of a cast doesn’t mean I am to neglect the other people the Lord brings into my path during that time. In a book I recently finished called Chasing Daylight the author was challenging his readers to not miss out on divine moments. I feel this is applicable here. I don’t want to miss a divine moment with a new acquaintance or an old friend. I want to constantly be aware of those around me and more sensitive when I am in my comfort zone of those who might be out of there’s.
Now this might be the dumbest blog that I have ever written, but I believe there is some truth here. All of us need to open our eyes more. To look outside the blinders of our own circle and see others as more important then ourselves. We need to put aside selfishness more, of how many friends we have or what show we are in at the moment, and focus on making every interaction we have with the people we are around count. To take every opportunity to include rather than snub. To focus on quality rather than quantity. Stepping off my soap box now and ending my rant. Thanks for being patient readers with this silly…slightly insecure…blog. Feel free to comment on these blogs btw. I would love to be able to dialogue about some of these that I write.
I know exactly what you mean Curtis, as an LD my interaction with a cast is usually few and far between, it does become a different world between the deck and FOH. Almost every show I come away with new friends but mostly what i feel when I walk backstage is a vibe of "you don't belong with us". At first, I took this internally thinking "wow you must be an akward dude" but as I started to form my own groups with FOH people I realized that it's just who you spend time with that determines who you are going to enjoy being around, and who you trust. S&S is a totally different kind of theatrical experence where the tech and actors really are all part of the same family. Once you get used to that it is odd to go back to the "theatre world" and remembering where your place is in the scheme of the show. Anyway...I can relate...good thoughts.
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