My body is so achy and hurting right now because of the current show I am doing though. All the dancing with a combination of concrete floor and poor foot ware is killing me softly. I took the first few strides and I could pin point every single ache that was going to give me fit’s the entirety of my run. Part of me just wanted to stop right there and call it good. Why would I put myself through this if I am not going to be able to function after.
For me right now that is not only the thought for my physical running but my spiritual running as well. The race that I have been running for the past few years has been a struggle for obedience. The calling for me to let go of control and run. To not focus on the momentary pain of the previous wounds in my life but to focus on the ultimate healing it will bring to those areas. Just like running physically I am going to get better at it. I might have to put on some more supportive shoes and I have to make sure I am stretched and ready to go, but it is going to overall benefit my life and my heart. My spiritual heart needs this same healing.
I had a conversation with my Dad on Monday about struggles and how it is so hard to handle hardship when you feel like you have done all the right things. How do you keep going and how do you remain obedient when you feel like there is no pay off. You fight and you push through and you fight some more the various challenges that life throws and for what?
That is the moment when it goes back to these verses that my mentor shared with me today. ‘That I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead’ Philippians 3:10-11
And “ Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the price of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:12-14
These and many more are reminders of truth. Reminders that this race is hard that we are running as Christians and we are going to feel the aches in our ankles and our knees. We are going to feel our back tighten up at the worst time and we are going to be thinking that we did everything right before this section of the race started, and wonder why we are hurting. Then we cross the finish line for that section, and we catch our breath look back at the distance we have covered. There might not be a medal yet, but if we keep running there will be. If we keep moving forward and push through the inevitable pain of the race, there is relief in sight, there is hope in each section of the race, each hill we climb and each valley we sprint into. The pay off isn’t immediate. Just because you get through one section doesn’t mean you can stop and still expect the Gold medal.
I don’t know why I continue to struggle with things in my personal life. I don’t know why I have days where I feel so lonely I could burst into tears at any moment. I don’t know why my family is facing one of the toughest trials that we have gone through together with my precious niece Reese. I don’t know why this is all happening at once. I do know this, it is just one section of the race. I might feel the pain and the heartache and the loneliness right now, but that doesn’t mean that I will once I finish this section. So, I can’t stop, I cant throw in the towel. We can’t stop. We have a higher calling that is perfect and a savior who is running with us cheering us on and helping us carry each burden. Who’s there to help us navigate through the curves and the hills. Who shows us the pace and lets us follow him to the finish line.
Jesus loves me, and this race is worth running just to see his face at the end and run into his arms.
No comments:
Post a Comment