Make It Rain

  Tonight I walked home in the rain.  It started out as a little sprinkle and then transformed into a downpour.  I was with my dog child Charlie and instead of running home as fast as we could I walked.  I let the rain wash all over.  By the time we made it home I was soaked.  I think I love rain because it washes things away.  It brings life and refreshes dry ground.  Also because Singing in the Rain is one of my favorite musicals.  ha.  

   Today was a tough day.  Just navigating life and challenges as they come.  Looking at my past and not being the most proud of it but thankful for the journey and how the Lord has used everything to grow my character and transform my heart.  Over the past few months I have watched the Lord completely till up the soil in my life so that new seeds can be planted. Healthy seeds.  I have watched as my family has gathered around to support one another.  I have watched hard things bring about the most beautiful growth I have seen in a long time.  All of this is because of God.  All of this is because we are/ I am in a place of total dependence on Jesus for every second of every day.  

    With this new chapter comes some fear and anxiety.  Comes the inevitable kick back of those who might not understand or support you.  The looks, the gossip, the hurts.  Boundaries change and relationships evolve to bring about what the Lord has called you to.  I think that no matter what, if you are seeking the Lords will for your life with everything you have, it is going to be uncomfortable for awhile.  Its turning a rudder on a boat that was going fast in another direction.  The only way to make sure you get on the right course is to hold tight to the rudder and keep going.  

  So, tonights gift from the Lord to me was a rain shower. Not just a physical one that left me drenched, but a spiritual one that reminded me that I am washed clean.  Just like the rain sweeps away the dirt and grime, Jesus has washed away mine.  The canvas of my heart that I allowed so many people to write things that weren’t true on, has been washed clean by the shed blood of Jesus who gently writes…REDEEMED CHILD OF GOD.  

   So, next time you get stuck in a downpour, consider taking a walk instead of a run.  For me, it was exactly what I needed.

Lessons I Learned From My Dog

    The thing that Charlie also does during this time is try and figure out a way around the path we are going.  He tries to turn a different way thinking it will make it faster.  When in reality is forces us off the path that would get us there in the right amount of time.  His focus isn’t on me…its on everything else.  

     

    Today I have been reflecting a lot on where the Lord has brought me.  How he has been so patient with me and so loving in the midst of mistake after mistake.  I have hurt so many people.  I have caused damage that I can’t begin to repair.  From my family to relationships that I’ve allowed boundaries to get blurred.  Instead of listening to my master and trusting his timing and his plan I have pulled ahead and hurt myself and others.  It is a humbling thing to look back on your life and see the carnage of the mistakes you have made.  

   

    Here is the thing though….There is still a dog park for Charlie to go to if he allows me to guide him there.  Likewise, there is still the desires of my heart and ultimately the desires of Gods heart for me….if I just let him lead.  He knows the path that is best.  He knows the pace that is healthy.  He knows what is truly good for me.  

    

    So, that is where I am today.  To those in my life who might be reading this that I have hurt so deeply, I am deeply sorry.  I pray for your forgiveness and for peace.  I pray for healing.  I am thankful for a Master; for a God who picks up the pieces and mends broken things.  I am thankful for a God who restores and lifts up.  A God who calls us up to something more than we think we deserve.  I am thankful for a God who rips the lid off of the caskets we put ourselves in thinking that we are dead to hopes and dreams that we have.  

    

    My favorite part of taking Charlie to the dog park is letting him off his leash at the end and seeing him run free. Playing with all his other dog friends. Enjoying the thing he was so desperately wanting.  I think that is the same way the Lord feels when he releases us from the chains of sin and lets us free.  Lets us run into the promises he has for our lives and the GOOD that he had planned all along.