Mercy Thats New Every Morning

Fresh healing. It stinks sometimes, the old wounds open up to allow for there to be healing on a deeper level. I think that is where I am at right now. The past couple months has been interesting, Lots of challenges and pitfalls along the way and trying to keep my focus on Christ has been hard.
This off season was super boring because I really had no plans at all aside from the cruise. Which I just wrote about. After that was done my time was spent trying to establish a routine in order to not go crazy from having so much free time on my hands. In the midst of having to try and keep occupied in some way shape or form I felt like the Lord was removing stability that I felt I had in my life. People and things that I would run to. Relationship ending, Friendships ending (that needed to end), Family stuff, Prominent people in my life that I trusted ,and valued their advice and wisdom. All of there things were changing and rearranging. In addition I didn’t have a job to go to and have some form of purpose. The perfect storm for my life if you will. The right mix of ingredients that could break my spirit and will to fight.
In the middle of it all I felt like the Lord was continually prompting my heart to run to him. To seek him. To trust him. I have realized and continue to realize that I run to so many other things in order to make myself feel good about myself or where I am at. If I don’t have these stabilizing forces I fall apart. Not healthy! So thus began my journey to this deeper level of healing in my life. Last year was like the first layer of healing that was wonderful, and this year I feel like the more intimate layer is being taken on. To run to Christ when I feel lonely. To run to Christ when I feel insecure. To run to Christ when I don’t like my job or feel unfulfilled. Retraining my mind and reactions to seeking him instead of calling on other people and things to change my attitude or give me that confidence I seek. This is not and easy task, and has left me feeling kind of lost at moments. So, pray for me dear friends as I embark on this next chapter of growth and healing. The next chapter on the journey of faith I am on with my Lord and Savior.