Tonight I am sitting here in my normal spot on my bed, with Charlie dog snuggled up next to me, and just thinking about tomorrow being my last day in my 20s. On Monday I turn the big 30! I can't believe it! For some reason for me this is a big one. Normally birthdays are just another day but this one has me thinking so much more and reflecting. Thinking about this last 10 years of life in my 20s that are suppose to be some of the best, and honestly they have been.
I have traveled the world! I have gone to Germany, the Netherlands (twice), Belgium, Austria, The Czech Republic, England, Portugal, and Cameroon Africa! I have sang in beautiful old cathedrals and watched some amazing Theater productions in the West End. I have trecked around an unknown city with 3 other friends and pretended to do the Amazing Race in Lisbon. I have played soccer with african children and got to love on them and be reminded of how so very fortunate I am to live in American and have all my needs provided for. I have eaten so much food!!! Some good, and some not so good. Some people go their entire lives without having these kind of adventures and I got to do it in abundance! I am so so blessed! Thank you Lord for allowing me to see and experience and be a part of so many different cultures. It has changed my life.
I went to college and I am actually using my degree!! I have thankfully worked consistently since I graduated and had the privilege of learning so much about my craft from some of the most amazing friends along the way. I am still learning and still trying to be better and thanks to the actors I get work beside right now at Sight and Sound I am supported on that path. I got to sing on a cruise ship with one of my best friends in the world Erika. So many experiences! So many challenges! So much Learning! Thank you so much Lord for these precious gifts you have given me. Thank you for my voice! Thank you for my ability to dance! Thank you for my ability to act! Being able to express myself through the arts has honestly saved my life. The Lord knew what he was doing when he set me down this path.
I have had some amazing relationships. I have been so blessed to fall in love. So thankful To have experienced that and to look forward to that again with someone someday. Although those relationships in the past ended I am so thankful for them and what they taught me and how they shaped me into the man I am today. I have been blessed with some incredible friends who have walked through so so much life with me. Who have seen me at my worst and celebrated with me at my best! I am surrounded with friends that are more like family to me than just friends. I know for a fact they will be a part of my life forever. Those of you know who you are and I adore each of you so so much! You are my rocks in the journey! Thank you Lord for friends and relationships! Thank you for a future family you have for me. I pray for it every day.
I have gone through ups and downs with my family and seen some pretty tough times. We have trudged through communication issues and life choices and hurt hearts and pride, but we are strong and have pushed through so so much. Thank you Lord for my family and constantly transforming and growing us. Pray your continued hand on each of us as individuals and as a whole family.
As I am thinking back through all of this. All of the challenges and hardships. All the tears and all the laughter. All the adventures and all those quiet moments drinking a glass of wine with friends. I am just humbled and blessed and thankful and hopeful. Hopeful for a future that is bright. Hopeful for more growth and more adventures. What a journey this past 30 years has been, and even though parts of me have a hard time with being this age and not having the "american dream" with the white picket fence and family, a huge part of me is celebrating the life that I have had. There is no time frame on when or even if things have to be a certain way. The beauty of my journey is that it is just that.....its mine.
I read this quote tonight and really liked it.
"I will not be hardened; I will let people in. I will be vulnerable and unashamed of my story, for my story gives me courage, and has the power to give courage to others suffering as I have. I will not let fear control me. I will believe that the end of things does not have to define the experience. I will reject resentment and regret. I will not believe the lies that I feel in the face of hurt. I am beautiful, worthy of love and belonging. My future is brighter than any flashback. I am even MORE than the wars I have won." Bonnie McRae
My 20s were a beautiful battlefield, and that quote I think sums up this turning 30 for me. Bring it on! Thank you so much Lord for allowing me to be your child. Thank you for loving me through it all. Thank you for these last 30 years and for protecting me. Thank you for your provision and guidance. Thank you for continually growing me into the man you want me to be. I pray for your hand to continue to be on my life. I pray for wisdom and courage to face whatever is coming ahead. I pray for peace in the stillness of day to day life, and encouragement and endurance for the journey before me. I love you so much!
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