So, yesterday was a rough day. One of those days where you can’t seem to push through the fog. My thoughts were all over the place and focus seemed to be something of a golden ticket I was desperately trying to unwrap in a chocolate bar. Of course Charlie got it!
I decided in addition to giving up social media for awhile I am going to give up sugar for 21 days. Several of the other guys in my dressing room are doing this all with me, so there is strength in numbers. I have found such a strange parallel with giving up sugar and my battle over my mind though. So easily I allow things to enter my thoughts that should not be there. I let my heart dwell in places that harden it, or abuse it. I need to be taking those thoughts captive and replacing any untruth I encounter with the truth that the Lord has provided. Just like this giving up sugar, I find that when I try to remove those things, I feel the withdrawals. I am detoxing from the things that might taste good but that are ultimately not the best for me.
Yesterday, in the midst of feeling like I was in constant prayer to fight untruth, I had a thought that I didn’t want to be here anymore. Just wishing that the Lord would return or just take me home already. Its all just too much. I was praying this and thinking, does he even hear me. I felt at that moment like I was pleading to nothing but the ceiling.
I walked up to take my place before the next scene in the show I am in started and my friend Amber walked up to me. We normally catch up at that time or pray together. Today we talked for a second and then she literally spoke out to me the thoughts I had just had. She acknowledged the untruth that was trying to get to my heart and it was like the Lord was speaking through her in that moment, “Curtis, I see you. I hear your prayers. I am here with you. Keep going!”. I was taken aback by what she had just said to me. A mix of embarrassed and filled with peace. The God of the universe just responded to me…. Literally within moments. I don’t think I have ever experienced anything like that before. It was such a gift.
Now, I would like to say that the rest of the day was amazing but it was still hard. I still had to fight off thoughts. I still had to flee from temptations that I so badly wanted to chase after. The thing that remained consistent though was the knowledge that He heard me. That he continues to hear me.
I hate going without sugar right now. I hate that I can’t run to the cupboard and grab some of the sweets I just received from my dear friends Adam and Lindsey. (I got an amazing care package the day I stopped sugar.) My 21 days of no sugar will be up soon enough and I can go back to enjoying a sweet now and again, but the thing that I don’t ever want to change is the constant pursuit of truth and applying that truth to my heart. I have spent many years indulging in the sweets of this world that have left me empty and unhealthy, I praise God that he is with me as I change this emotional diet for the mana he has provided in his word though the Holy Spirit.
As I am finishing this blog I am literally craving cookies, so I am going to go and have some popcorn. Love you all so much. Be brave…We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!
No comments:
Post a Comment