End of a Journey, Start of a New

Today I officially finished my first cruise ship contract. What a journey it has been. So many challenges and trials. So many emotions to face and lessons to learn. At the beginning of this contract I had no idea I would be where I am today. Some of those ways are hard and are taking some getting use to. Others are amazing and exciting. The total package though just makes me feel blessed and provided for.
This morning I got up early because we had to go through a bunch of paper work and go through customs. I was extra early though and decided I would go and watch the sun rise as we sailed into New York City. What an amazing sight. The Sun coming up over the buildings. Gradually bringing the city more and more to life. Watching the buildings come closer and closer as we sailed further in. I took deep breaths and just thought about where I am at. What I have been through and where I want to go. What is the next chapter for me? What does God have in store? What new and challenging adventure will he send me on? What do I want?
I think for a long time I based what I want off of other people. I tweaked the way I think or feel based on other people thoughts. We all fall into this trap at some point or another I think, others just have a harder time with it. Our identity is not our own, it is what others tell us to be. What a dangerous trap. There is a difference also between molding your identity to what others want, and being challenged by their ideas. I think before this contract started in some ways I was the first and during this contract I became more of the latter.
I was so blessed on this contract to be surrounded by a lot of different types or people. With Drastically different ideas on how life should be lived and what morals should be held dear. I find it interesting that when I was in Tennessee I molded myself way more into what people wanted me to be, but on the ship surrounded by some far out ideas I realized how strong my core foundation was. I was reminded of how strong my heart is and how blessed I am to have a loving savior who lives in that heart. I was Curtis Wilson, 100% genuine me. I started to form my own dream more, my own ambitions started to surface again. I use to be this way a lot more, but I think over time, my desire to be wanted and cared for changed all that.
So with this new chapter I resolve to pursue more. To live more. To challenge myself more. To be open to change more. I have a loving father who has a plan for me. Why not trust that he will take me on the Epic adventure that he promises me, and mold me into the man he wants me to be along the way? I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Seasons Of Change

God has an amazing ability to surprise us at every turn. Just when you feel you have your life figured out or there is some form of stability, it is adjusted or altered in order to help you grow, or bring you closer to him. This can take place in good situations and bad. When you get a promotion in a job ,that is a great thing if you are supporting a family or trying to achieve a goal, it is also an added challenge because of more responsibility. Something that is good, was used to make you stronger or grow you as a person. Every situation has it’s pro’s and con’s it has it’s ups and downs. We are responsible for taking each situation and allowing that lesson to be learned and the next step to be taken in our lives.
I just recently finished an amazing book by one of my favorite authors, Donald Miller, where he dove into the idea of each of us as a character in a story. Each of us has a story and we can either choose to go where our writer tells us, or we can challenge that idea for something else. We can go down a path and have a good story, or we can go down another and embrace a comfortable less challenging story. A story without ambition, a story without love, a story without excitement. We have a choice in everything we do. He went on say that sometime people get stuck in that bad story of their lives because they have become use to it. They settle for the comfortable story even though they are frustrated or upset. Even though they feel fake or unsatisfied. They think it is better to have a bad story that they know how to handle and know what will happen, rather than a good story that they have no clue what the outcome will be. Fear keeps them trapped.
With each leg of my journey I learn so much. I have been pushed to limits I didn’t know I had. I have grown in areas that I thought I couldn’t grow anymore. I am learning to love people better, to enjoy life more, and to trust that God has his ever guiding hand on my life. Another thing that is cool in the book I read is when he talks about inciting incidents in stories, and how they push/ cause the character in that story to make a move of some kind. That move/ choice is up to them after that inciting incident has occurred. They can take the push and use the momentum to take them places or they can take the push and let it shove them on the ground. I am right now, at this moment, being pushed off the blocks so to speak. A new journey is about to start in my life, I don’t know what twists and turns it might take me on, but I know I will be ok. I know that I want a good story, an epic story of fighting for what I believe, taking chances, loving well, living well, and learning so much along the way.
Thank you Lord, for pushing me and growing me. Thank you for not letting me be comfortable even though I beg for it sometimes. Thanks for being my writer, and making my character develop more and more into an amazing man. I love you.

Sailing

I think one of my favorite things about being on a ship are the stormy days. There is something about how the ocean looks and feels right before the storm hits. The smell in the air that tells you that the weather is about to change. Watching the clouds roll across the sky and seeing the rain as it heads in your direction. Maybe I have too much faith in my captain on the ship or the vessel itself, but I never think that is might effect my safety. I am more caught up in the majesty of the stormy day and the orchestra of wind, rain, and lightening that ensues.
I don’t know what it is about being on a ship, but it always makes me think of life in ship terms. Haha. I think it is interesting to consider the picture of our lives being a ship and experiencing the different kinds of weather; challenges and trials, we face. Not every thing is a big storm with crashing waves and thunder and lightening. Sometimes you come across fog, where you can’t see clearly. Sometimes you come across huge waves that rock your ship from side to side, and it can be a struggle to stay on course.
It is calming for me to think about my life in such a way. Sometime I feel like my problems or worries are so big and too much to handle. Why should I think that way though. I can look at a storm coming toward the cruise ship I am on, and not have a care in the world. I can enjoy the ride, so to speak, and take in the effects of it. I trust in the captain and know that he will navigate us through anything rough that we may come up against. We are safe on the ship, because we have someone leading the way that is trained and knowledgeable.
I have that is my life as well. My captain is a heavenly father who is all knowing and can, and does, lead me through every storm or change in weather that I face. I can go through a time of not knowing where I am going next, because I have a captain who is sailing me through it. I can go through times when there is a lot of change and people fail me, knowing that no matter how much my world is rocked I will make it through because my captain is pushing through the rough patch and I will stay on the course he has set for my life.
I am so thankful right now for God’s provision in my life. He has brought so much joy and growth to me. He has allowed me to face different challenges that have made me a much stronger man than I was. He has allowed me to experience true friendship and true family. He has allowed me to be in a relationship with someone that I adore and through that relationship opened my eyes even more to his amazing unconditional love for me. Thank you LORD!!!
With all this talk about ships and sailing and life and challenges, I am reminded of a song that my friend Shea showed me by Phil Wickham. Some of the Lyrics go like this: “With every storm I face. I find a greater grace. Which pulls me deeper into your heart. Im sailing on a ship that’s bound for life. I wrestle with the wind against the tide, I leave it all behind to reach for more. I’m sailing on to your golden shore.” I am thankful for this journey, and hopeful for an amazing future, being directed by my God.

Crossing the Finish Line

We are down to almost 2 weeks! 2 weeks and I am home with the people I love and care for the most. 2 weeks and I can finally drive a car again and even go for a hike up in the mountains. 2 weeks and I can enjoy a bit of a break and enjoy the holidays. I can’t wait to be home!
In this last bit of time I have left here on the Norwegian Jewel I have to remember that there are still lessons for me to learn here. There is still more that I can take from this experience and I have to remember not to short change that. It reminds me of the first summer I spent at discipleship focus in Tennessee. I was so ready to go home because I didn’t feel like I fit in. I was ready to go home and be with my true friends. I was ready for the hard part to be over.
I think that the hard part is always going to be there. If you are growing as a person, you are always going to have challenges and bumps in the road. Some are bigger than others, but none the less they are lessons to be learned. When I allowed myself to embrace my time I had left in Tennessee several years ago I made friendships that I cherish to this day. I learned so much about myself and about who God wants me to be. If I would have checked out right then when I wanted to, I might not have got to experience the true fellowship that I did there. Thank goodness I had an amazing mentor and friend Dennis to encourage me to stay present rather than letting my mind take me home before it was time.
So, how do I stay present here when my heart is already on it’s way back to Tennessee? I guess that is part of my lesson I need to learn. I have 2 weeks left to get to know someone better on the ship. I have 2 weeks left to experience the different ports that we go to and really take in the beauty and culture that each port has to offer. I have 2 weeks left to get a nice tan. Haha
Time is flying and this leg of my journey will be over soon, but there are many more adventures to come. New challenges, new lessons to learn, new places to go and experience. I am blessed beyond compare with amazing friends who love me. I have a family who prays for me daily. I have an other half who I adore and who loves me in return. Most importantly, I have a God who is leading the way and showing me some amazing stuff around each turn. Finish strong! I hear there is a Mcalisters and a tall glass of sweet tea waiting for me at the finish line.

Something New Is Coming

Tonight I have the amazing view outside my porthole of the brightest full moon I have ever seen. I looked outside and could have been tricked into believing that it was the sun if it hadn’t been dark outside. The reflection off of the ocean water is breathtaking. I shut off all the lights in my room and just sat on my bed, taking it all in. Breathing deep the amazing bit of God’s creation that he is sharing with me. I am yet again reminded that I not in control.
Sometimes we get fooled into thinking that when things go well, that we are in control. That we have something to do with it and if we continue, we will achieve great things. That is just not the case. I recently got offered a contract on another ship. This contract will go to the Western Caribbean to some amazing ports and then over to the Baltic. Truly an amazing contract and an answer to prayer. I received word of this contract and was jumping off the walls. I ran to tell my friends on the ship. They shared in my joy and enthusiasm and excitement. In my mind all my hard work had paid off. I had sent email after email to company after company and finally something happened! Yipee! I have a job. Then, I got a bit of reality punched into me. I am not in control.
No, the contract wasn’t taken away. I was though, reminded that just because you have plans and expectations of how a situation will turn out, doesn’t mean it is going to go your way. You still have to be patient and humble in everything. Realizing that I did nothing to deserve this opportunity. I did nothing to make it happen other than try my best to trust that the Lord would provide. Yea, I sent some emails, but the Lord was the one that came through.
God knows the desires of our heart. He know the path that he will lead us on. Sometimes that path will be alone. I have always had the blessing of being pushed out of my comfort zone, with some form of comfort there as a cushion. When I moved to Tennessee, I had been there before and at least knew the area and had one or two friends. When I came on the cruise ship I was in a totally different environment, but I had two of my good friends on board with me. This upcoming contract, I might be going at it all alone. It isn’t for sure yet, but I might not have any comfort zone in this situation other than the fact that I have worked on a ship in the past. When I realized this fact, among many others, I was reminded of that desperate dependence that I have on Christ. That need to have him near me at all times. During the Joyful celebrations, and the hard moments. If I do indeed go on yet another contract alone, and this time even more so, I have to remember, I am never really alone. No matter what trials, frustrations, or heartaches may come my way I have a great and might father and friend, who is right there with me through it all.
So, although the wind might have been taken out of my sails, I feel the faint, yet promising feeling, that they will be picking up again soon. My path is set, I am humbly approaching the wheel of my ship, and I get the opportunity to watch as the captain of my life steers me in the right direction