Today I officially finished my first cruise ship contract. What a journey it has been. So many challenges and trials. So many emotions to face and lessons to learn. At the beginning of this contract I had no idea I would be where I am today. Some of those ways are hard and are taking some getting use to. Others are amazing and exciting. The total package though just makes me feel blessed and provided for.
This morning I got up early because we had to go through a bunch of paper work and go through customs. I was extra early though and decided I would go and watch the sun rise as we sailed into New York City. What an amazing sight. The Sun coming up over the buildings. Gradually bringing the city more and more to life. Watching the buildings come closer and closer as we sailed further in. I took deep breaths and just thought about where I am at. What I have been through and where I want to go. What is the next chapter for me? What does God have in store? What new and challenging adventure will he send me on? What do I want?
I think for a long time I based what I want off of other people. I tweaked the way I think or feel based on other people thoughts. We all fall into this trap at some point or another I think, others just have a harder time with it. Our identity is not our own, it is what others tell us to be. What a dangerous trap. There is a difference also between molding your identity to what others want, and being challenged by their ideas. I think before this contract started in some ways I was the first and during this contract I became more of the latter.
I was so blessed on this contract to be surrounded by a lot of different types or people. With Drastically different ideas on how life should be lived and what morals should be held dear. I find it interesting that when I was in Tennessee I molded myself way more into what people wanted me to be, but on the ship surrounded by some far out ideas I realized how strong my core foundation was. I was reminded of how strong my heart is and how blessed I am to have a loving savior who lives in that heart. I was Curtis Wilson, 100% genuine me. I started to form my own dream more, my own ambitions started to surface again. I use to be this way a lot more, but I think over time, my desire to be wanted and cared for changed all that.
So with this new chapter I resolve to pursue more. To live more. To challenge myself more. To be open to change more. I have a loving father who has a plan for me. Why not trust that he will take me on the Epic adventure that he promises me, and mold me into the man he wants me to be along the way? I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
No comments:
Post a Comment