Making the Cut

It is the heart of winter right now in Missouri and a massive blizzard is heading in. This does not inspire a lot of excitement around here because a blizzard here means ice...not pretty snow....just tons of ice. No one really knows the carnage that awaits us here. Missouri has a way of surprising you with it's weather....one of the reasons I love and hate this state all at the same time. haha.

In the midst of this oncoming blizzard and weather change, there is also a lot of change going on for me personally. I think right now, after being home for awhile and around familiar faces, I realized how much I truly love it here. It is boring at times, but I am truly surrounded with love and support and that is way more important to me. That being said....I was called recently by a Regional Theater and asked if I would be interested in being a part of their upcoming season. This is such a hard decision for me. On the one hand, I have an amazing offer to go on a cruise ship and save a bit of money while traveling through Europe. On the other, I have a job with a great company where I will have benefits and actually a bit of security as far as a job goes in the performing world. Plus, I would be surrounded with friends.

So, processing through all of this is a bit of a load on the brain right now. I know that the right decision will present itself. I don't really think there is a wrong decision in this, considering in both cases, I have a job doing what I love. Which is more than a lot of performers can say.

In addition to the changes vocationally, I am feeling the need to do some pruning in my life. Some evaluating of friendships, and if they are worth really pursuing anymore. I think in the performing world you get a lot of fake. We act for crying out loud.....pretty much professional liars if you think about it. lol. That being said, I feel that as I approach the ripe old age of 25 in just a couple weeks, I want to go into this next chapter surrounded by people who truly love and care for me. I really cannot be bothered with the fake friendships anymore. They cause more drama than happiness, and this sometimes over-caring heart, can't handle the burden of being walked on by people anymore.

Now, that sounds a bit like a pitty party, but I assure you, every friendship/ relationship I have been in has taught me something, and allowed me to grow in a different way. That is the whole point of community with people. Different people are around for different seasons in order to challenge us and grow us; and vice versa. I think I just realize now that some of those friendships just need to be put behind me.

It is like running a race and realizing half way through that you have been wearing weights all over your body. After taking a moment and removing the extra not needed weight, you are rejuvenated. You are able to leap higher and jump faster and breath deeper. You can take on the rest of the race with more strength too, because you have built up endurance in the midst of carrying so much extra, that was never intended for you to carry.

I think that is like those draining friendships. The ones that you keep around because you do care for the person, but at the same time realize that they aren't good for you. Where as those friendships have been put in your life for a purpose, I think it is how we react to them that can teach us the lesson. How we show them love and kindness that we would show anyone, but realize that investing too much would be a bad investment indeed. The losses would be greater than the gains.
So, there you have it folks. Just a bit of blunt honesty. For me this blog has always been a good place to process though decisions or thoughts that I have. So I guess this one fits in. lol Feel free to comment. What makes a friendship worth keeping? What determines what ones need to be pruned out?

Wedding Bells, and Good times!

I had the amazing opportunity to be able to go to one of my best friends weddings this past week in Orlando. What an amazing celebration we had. I think about the week long celebrations that took place in Biblical times, and I think this would be as close as I could get to one. From the moment my plane landed i felt swept up in the current of excitement and joy for my 2 friends who were about to tie the knot.
Day one-I landed early evening with just enough time to drop my things off at the hotel and then change and make it to a wonderful dinner at Wolfgang Pucks in Downtown Disney. Having a great meal with a bunch of friends that I haven't see in awhile was so refreshing. Conversations were easy, even with the new friends I had just made. I love these people!
Day two- My friend Chris works at Disney and was nice enough to let me and a couple of friend get into the Magic Kingdom for FREE!! Amazing, especially considering that one of those passes is about 90 dollars. yikes! Anywho, if you want a full description of the fun there you can look at my previous blog. It was magical! After that was the bachelorette party which I opted to go to considering the Bride, Erika, is my bestie. Let me just say this....being surrounded by about 18 Latin women is probably the most fun anyone can have. We ate well, we laughed hard, and we danced the night away! SO MUCH FUN!!!
Day three- Lunch with my friend Chris and catch up time on life. I miss that guy! It is always great to get together with people you haven't seen for awhile and see where they are at. Warms me wee heart! Later that night we had the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner! More food, laughter, and fun! Since I went back to Missouri after my ship contract I didn't get to see some of the people that I really loved back in TN. It was so nice to have the opportunity to see them there though. SO MUCH FUN! Ended up staying the night with friends at their condo and using the hot tub and playing games!
Day four- The Wedding!!! Had an amazing Brunch with the Groomsmen at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. Wish nice to have some man time. haha Then made my way to the wedding after a quick bite to eat at a nice bistro with my friend Brandy. The wedding was wonderful. Erika looked like something out of a magazine! She was stunning! So blessed and proud to call this lady my sister. The Bridesmaids were beautiful the Groomsmen were dashing and it was a beautiful ceremony. :) I cried....oh course. After the beautiful wedding we had the reception and enjoyed a beautiful night. The room was decorated beautifully and the mix of cultures brought so much life to the dance floor. I don't think I left the dance floor most of the evening. Met some new friends and ate some more great food.
Day 5- Spent the morning with my friend Mary had a nice chat and enjoyed a great breakfast. Nice and greasy. lol Then made my way to Disney again and watched my friend Chris perform there. Ended the day with a nice Italian meal.
My time in Orlando was a whirlwind of activity. I had so much fun. I felt like a baby when I left the reception because I was saying goodbye to people who I dearly love. People that I won't see again for a while. That is the hard thing about this gypsy lifestyle that I live. You build relationships with people and grow with them and then eventually you have to move on. The stability of familiar surroundings and friends is not there as much for me. I am blessed irregardless though because I have a broad group of friends who challenge me and encourage me in different ways. Allows me to be a more well rounded person I feel. :) So, I wasn't one of the people giving toasts at the wedding, but i will give one now.
Chris and Erika, You are two people who have seen me through a lot of growing pains as I started on my journey into the working world. Chris being my room mate when I first moved to Tennessee, and Erika being my best friend at The Miracle Theater. Chris, I always knew you would tell me things straight. I enjoyed spending time with you because you really did remind me of my older brother....only cooler sometimes ( sorry Justin haha) I knew you cared for me and that meant a lot. Erika, from our first wine night I knew that I could trust you with anything. You have been so consistent as a friend in my life and have really looked out for me. You are the big sister that I always wanted. You saw me through some difficult changes in so many areas of my life and I am forever grateful for you. The first Christmas I was going to have to spend alone, you and Chris invited me over and even had a couple gifts for me. :) You are my family, my friends, and I love and respect you both. I wish you all the happiness in the world and hope to see you soon. Cheers! p.s. If your first child is a boy. I will gladly allow you to name him Curtis :)

Oh the Wonderful World of Disney

I recently had the opportunity to go to Disney World for the first time ever. Thanks to my friend Chris, I was able to get into several of the parks. The first park I visited was Magic Kingdom. I figured if I was going to really experience Disney, then Magic Kingdom was the best place to start. After parking my car I made my way to the Monorail and I started to get more excited.
As we rode to the park you could see the other parks in the distance and you really got a feel that this really is a kingdom. Disney covers everything around for miles and miles. Then, in the distance you see the castle. I practically skipped off the monorail, passed through the turnstile, and walked into this truly Magical Kingdom. I couldn't stop smiling as I passed kids with mickey ears on, cast members carrying huge bundles of balloons, and various different characters that I grew up watching. Slowly made my way down Mainstreet USA and realized they were having a show in front of the castle. I stood there still smiling. I had become a kid once again.
After finishing that show I walked around some more. My mouth hanging open as I took in these different parts of the park. I walked through the Swiss Family house and imagined being a part of that movie. I road through the Haunted Mansion and marveled at the spectacle of it all. They actually looked like ghosts! Then I made my way to the Philarmagic show. I am not going to lie...I cried a little as I watched this. It just takes you back to your childhood and that simple time in life. This ride engages all of your senses. I could sing along with all my favorite songs from Disney movies, I felt like I was actually on a magic carpet ride. I loved it! After that I jumped over to another show in the Hall of Presidents. This show just left me feeling proud to be an American and grateful for the freedoms that I have here. It was incredible how real these anametronic men looked. When the screen lifted and President Lincoln gave a speech, I thought at first it was an actor on that stage. So cool!
There were so many more adventures at that park. I am so glad that I got to go and experience all of it. I am also glad I got to see a good friend perform while I was there. I now know what all the hype is about when people talk about Disney. They really do an amazing job at bringing the magic to life.

So....is it going to be Catch Phrase... or Farkle ?

Games. We all play them at some point in our lives. Some of us play innocent games like Scrabble or Pictionary, and then others play games of the heart. Games in relationships, in my opinion are stupid and I am learning that I have zero patience for them.
What is it that inspires us to play these games. Flirting is one thing. We playfully banter back and forth with the person we are attracted to, in hopes that it will spark some conversation or deepen the attraction. Then it comes to the point where you have to acknowledge where the relationship is going, and the games begin. Skirting around the issue. Not wanting to say an answer one way or another, so you play hard to get. Hard to get ahold of, you stop answering calls or lessen the amount of times you text. So, what makes us so afraid? Why do we fear making a decision so much that we play a gave, of avoidance really?
I think the obvious answer is to protect ourselves. We get in situations where we are flattered by what is going on and what people are saying to us, and it takes you down a road that leads to real heartache. When the person that is not as attracted realizes that, they start to squirm because they know that inevitably they are going to cause some hurt feelings. So why not be blunt ?
Just like a band aid, why not just rip it off and let the sting happen if it is inevitable anyway? Why play the games and lead someone to believe that you still might be interested? I think in our society today we are so selfish and out for number one, that we forget to care for others and take their feeling into account. We don't want to feel any worse about ourselves, so by avoiding hurting others, we avoid hurting our-self. Games are just a mask for future hurt.
I think most of us have experienced this. Where we get ourselves into a tough spot and have to make a choice in order to get out. For me, I would like to apologize right now, to anyone who I have treated this way. As boring as my time in Missouri is right now without a job, it has allowed me an opportunity to reflect on areas of my life in which I would like to change. I, Curtis Wilson, am a selfish man. By the grace of God I have the opportunity make choices to change that though.
So, my challenge to those who read my blog is this....and not to quote John Mayer but........say what you need to say. If you are in a situation and you have reached that point where some real tough honesty is necessary..... then speak that honesty. Yea, it might be tough, but in the long run you will be respected for it and avoid alot more hurt.

It's a New Year Ya'll

So, the page has turned and we have started this new year of 2011. What journey awaits us!!! Right now I am in Missouri spending time with friends and family, and just being plain bored. I have no job right now and I am surviving off of my savings until I start my next cruise ship contract. I guess being away for awhile I forgot how little there is to do in this small town. I feed my coffee addiction with the little coffee joints that are here that I love. I have found a couple new places that I enjoy. Movie theaters, restaurants, etc. but then I realize that there really is nothing else. I have been spoiled with travel and amazing places with loads to do. I have gotten use to moving all the time and having something to occupy myself....and now.....I have the rolling hills of Missouri. I love this place and I loathe it all at the same time.

This also is kind of a bummer because I love writing on this blog. It is such a wonderful way to process though different events in my life, and right now.......nothing is happening. I talked to my good friend Cat the other day and she said that she had started a blog. It is Hilarious!!! Makes me laugh until I pee. I think it was what I needed to start getting some new inspiration to write on this. So, here's to a new year of travel, of adventures, of growth, and living. Get ready to have some random blogs for the next bit though as I search for something interesting and exciting to do and experience in Missouri!