Making the Cut

It is the heart of winter right now in Missouri and a massive blizzard is heading in. This does not inspire a lot of excitement around here because a blizzard here means ice...not pretty snow....just tons of ice. No one really knows the carnage that awaits us here. Missouri has a way of surprising you with it's weather....one of the reasons I love and hate this state all at the same time. haha.

In the midst of this oncoming blizzard and weather change, there is also a lot of change going on for me personally. I think right now, after being home for awhile and around familiar faces, I realized how much I truly love it here. It is boring at times, but I am truly surrounded with love and support and that is way more important to me. That being said....I was called recently by a Regional Theater and asked if I would be interested in being a part of their upcoming season. This is such a hard decision for me. On the one hand, I have an amazing offer to go on a cruise ship and save a bit of money while traveling through Europe. On the other, I have a job with a great company where I will have benefits and actually a bit of security as far as a job goes in the performing world. Plus, I would be surrounded with friends.

So, processing through all of this is a bit of a load on the brain right now. I know that the right decision will present itself. I don't really think there is a wrong decision in this, considering in both cases, I have a job doing what I love. Which is more than a lot of performers can say.

In addition to the changes vocationally, I am feeling the need to do some pruning in my life. Some evaluating of friendships, and if they are worth really pursuing anymore. I think in the performing world you get a lot of fake. We act for crying out loud.....pretty much professional liars if you think about it. lol. That being said, I feel that as I approach the ripe old age of 25 in just a couple weeks, I want to go into this next chapter surrounded by people who truly love and care for me. I really cannot be bothered with the fake friendships anymore. They cause more drama than happiness, and this sometimes over-caring heart, can't handle the burden of being walked on by people anymore.

Now, that sounds a bit like a pitty party, but I assure you, every friendship/ relationship I have been in has taught me something, and allowed me to grow in a different way. That is the whole point of community with people. Different people are around for different seasons in order to challenge us and grow us; and vice versa. I think I just realize now that some of those friendships just need to be put behind me.

It is like running a race and realizing half way through that you have been wearing weights all over your body. After taking a moment and removing the extra not needed weight, you are rejuvenated. You are able to leap higher and jump faster and breath deeper. You can take on the rest of the race with more strength too, because you have built up endurance in the midst of carrying so much extra, that was never intended for you to carry.

I think that is like those draining friendships. The ones that you keep around because you do care for the person, but at the same time realize that they aren't good for you. Where as those friendships have been put in your life for a purpose, I think it is how we react to them that can teach us the lesson. How we show them love and kindness that we would show anyone, but realize that investing too much would be a bad investment indeed. The losses would be greater than the gains.
So, there you have it folks. Just a bit of blunt honesty. For me this blog has always been a good place to process though decisions or thoughts that I have. So I guess this one fits in. lol Feel free to comment. What makes a friendship worth keeping? What determines what ones need to be pruned out?