The Beginning of the Journey

It has been a whirlwind of a few days. Driving home on Thursday, spending time with friends, and then hopping on a plane for the start of my rehearsals for the Norwegian Jewel. For starters I am always reminded every time I go home and see friend how much I am loved and cared for. I have been so blessed to have made such deep friendships. I know I mention friendships alot in this blog but I guess that is just showing how important they are to me. I finished off my time in Missouri with best friends sharing Italian food and a nice bit of Sangria! Yummy! Thanks for being there guys!
This morning I got up at 4:00am and got my things together just in time to be taken to the airport. I had to be there by 5:00am but made it there a little after. I made my way to the gate and handed my papers to the clerk. She weighed my bags and then said with a rushed look on her face "You are 5 pounds over. Lose it or you will lose your flight." I quickly opened up all of my bags and started throwing things around trying to get thing done quickly. Underwear on the floor I through any shame to the wind in order to make the flight. Finally I got it all together and hurried to put my bag back on the scale. I was still a bit over and the lady said "Go, just go!" I smiled and ran quickly to the security check, which I got through just in time to make my flight.
I settled into my seat and waited to leave. Then at the last minute a familiar face comes though the door and sits next to me. One of my best friends growing up, her husband is a pilot and was on his way to work. We chatted a bit and caught up on what was going on with myself and he and my friend Jess. Such a small world! I was thankful for the familiar face at the start of this next leg of my journey. Calmed me down a bit.
I made it to the connecting flight, but not before a quick stop at Dunkin Donuts. I sat down in my seat and then a lovely little girl ( who I thought was a boy) sat next to me. She was incredibly talkative we became quick friends. I am currently reading the Harry Potter series ( thank you Patrick Shaw ;-) ) So my little friend decided she wanted to read with me. It was so cute and although I sometimes got a bit annoyed with the commentary and talkativeness, it reminded me of a more innocent time and warmed my heart. Calmed me down a bit.
Finally made it to Tampa, Florida and met Max, the other male singer, and my friend Ryan who is one of the dancers. We made out way to our hotel and met the rest of our cast. Everyone seems really great. We start rehearsals tomorrow morning at 9:00am beginning with a little orientation time. It was a great day and it kept me nice and busy. Filled with little reminders of my love, and also reminders that my season on the ship is going to be very short.
I am so thankful for the little messages and texts that remind me that I am missed and loved. Today I had several and it was such a blessing to my heart. Thank you! I love you! I miss you! I am realizing now that I will be seeing you in just a blink of time, and that is a happy thought indeed. For now, I am excited for rehearsals to start and to become an amazing pop star! One step at a time........

Goodbyes/ See Ya Laters

I hate saying goodbye to people. It is probably one of the hardest things for me to do. I get close to someone and then all of a sudden my season with them is through and I move on to a new place where there will be other people in my life for yet another season. Not only is a transition period hard because of all the moving and the responsibility that it involves, you have to add the end to some meaning full friendships. I was walking around my theater yesterday as I finished my final show at the Miracle. I realized how close I had gotten to some. Even though several I didn't talk to that much and I wasn't that deep in friendship with them, I will miss their presence in my life terribly. To all of you from my cast that happen to read this, I love you all and have truly cherished my time with you.
(Random shout out. It always amazes me how God places people in your life that have just the right words to say and the same experiences to some extant so as to be an encouragement to you. Nikkie Samler, thank you for becoming my friend is such a short time. God has defiantly used you to encourage my heart and allowed a bit of peace to enter through your words. I love you sister.)
For those friends who have been a part of my life season after season, I LOVE YOU! You, YOU are my family and without you being a part of my life, I would have a sad existence indeed. Experiencing such amazing friendship in the past give me the encouragement that I need to realize that those who are truly meant to be a part of me life, those chosen friends that God has placed in my life for the long haul, will be there regardless of where I go. Thank goodness for those friends who last!
Before my show yesterday I had the most amazing hike with my best friend Patrick. We went to Charlie's Bunyon and hiked 8 miles total. The weather was amazing and the views were spectacular. It was a much needed time to get away and settled down. My heart and my head have been racing like crazy the past several week thinking this and that need to be done, and I have to have money for all of this, and how am I going to say goodbye to all these people I care about? How do I leave this behind? Something about those mountians always calms my spirit, and God steps in and rocks my worried heart and lets me know it will all be ok. Thank you papa for your hand always being in my life. So, tomorrow I get on the road and make the long long drive back to Missouri where I will have a day to say hello and goodbye to friends there and then hop a flight at 6 AM on Saturday. There, in Tampa Florida, a new adventure awaits me. So, for now I am going to say See Ya Later. I will be writing again very soon. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

p.s. To my best friend, I love you! I will miss you so much! and I can not wait until I see you again! All of my love and my heart are yours!

Stuff.....just stuff.

So, we are down to 5 days. Time really does fly. I woke up this morning and just laid in bed thinking of all of the things that have to get done and all of the money that has to be spent and instead of getting a little more sleep that I wanted, I got up and am writing to all of you. I hate stress and worry, but as my previous blogs have shown, it is kind of a part of my life. hahaha.
After Passport money, Medicals Money, Fedex Money, Gas Money, Rent Money, Food Money, etc. I am wondering how I am going to make it work until I get paid again. God has always provided so much for me. He has always brought provision at just the right time. I guess this is just another opportunity to learn to trust him more and depend on him. Right now, after all the above mentioned, I am worried about how I am going to pay for the little things that are left. Paying for my bags on the plain, paying for gas to get back to Missouri, paying for food when i get to Tampa. Again, I know that I have made a dollar stretch a long way in the past and when things have been rough God has brought what I need, but right now the worry is in my head. So, all my friends and family reading this, please send a prayer my way. One, for God to provide financially for this transition period of a couple weeks, and two, that I would continue to trust that God has it all under control. As my friend Ingrid Michelson would say "All that I know is I'm breathing. All I can do is keep breathing."

Its getting close folks

As of right now I have roughly 9 days left here in Pigeon Forge. I am getting anxious and a bit overwhelmed with it all. I finally, after a lot of communication, got all of my medicals and other paperwork sent and it has been received! I also got my plane ticket in an email and I will be departing Springfield Airport at 6:00 AM on the 24th! Ahh. Each day it becomes a little more real. I am leaving very soon!

Today it rained all morning and into the afternoon. I woke up, put on some music, and just chilled out while I ate a late breakfast and enjoyed the sounds of the music and the rain coming down outside. There is something so calming about rain for me. It just rocks this heart of mine with each patter of rain the the ground and soothes it into submission. I am so glad God made it rain today because this emo child needed some calmness and peace in the midst of worrying about everything imaginable. Thank you Wilson family for passing down a long line of worriers and giving that "gift" to me. :) It gives a good opportunity to learn trust though I guess.

I think I worry too much about what is coming next and what will happen next and how am I going to be in control of the next thing. It is overwhelming and not healthy at all. My contract on the ship will be over before I know it and I keep thinking that I have to have the next step planned already. It would be nice, but its not the most realistic. Things are always changing and moving and developing. If I plan my life out so much I will not be able to change as easy when it comes. I won't be able to enjoy the growing experiences that I have because I will be so wrapped up in how am I going to get back to what I planned. It's silly. I am not in control. Never have been, never will be.

So, all that to say, when you think of me friend and family say a little prayer for me. Pray for Peace and assurance that God has the ultimate plan for my life and that he will lead me where he wants me to go. If i start to really rest in that more maybe I will actually truly rest!

p.s. A shout out to those people that have to deal with me on a daily basis right now. Your patience and love are what help make me a little more grounded right now and I THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!

Random thoughts about leaving...

So, I have to keep myself in check when it comes to thinking about leaving. I want everything to be so great and work out just according to plan. I want all of my friends and loved ones to love on me just the way I want them to so that when I leave i will have such amazing pleasant memories of my time. I want perfection! lol Not possible or realistic. I think the hardest thing is knowing that time moves on without you. You leave a place and there are some tears shed and some promises made to stay in touch, but they only last so long. Then work comes back into play and they meet new people and life keeps rolling along. For me that is when i am reminded that God has a plan, and the people meant to stay in my life will be there and those who are just there for a season, i will have been truly blessed by for that time. Maybe that is why goodbyes are so hard. That fear of not knowing if those friends will continue to follow you even though you aren't there.
In stead of worrying over silly things my last bit here in Pigeon Forge, I want to enjoy all that this tacky town has to offer. I want to enjoy the people in my life and not worry so much if they are living up to how I want them to act since I am leaving. That is selfish of me and I don't have time for that nonsense.
A side note to friends that i don't see that I still keep in touch with and are still such a part of my life. THANK YOU! You are all so dear to me and I love that you are my family! ( Cody, Danielle, Angela, Brianne, Shealee, etc. ) Alright that is all for now I think. Thanks for letting me process my thoughts out loud a bit.

New Adventrues

Things are changing........FAST! I am always amazed at how quick God does his work. I get frustrated because I don't feel like anything is happening and everything that I am working for doesn't seem to be panning out. Then, all of a sudden, everything falls into place at just the right time and I am caught in a blur over what has just happened around me.
Right now is one of those times for sure. I just finished my first year of performing professionally at a theater in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee called the Miracle Theater. 2009 was full of challenges and changes and growth for me as most of you know who will be reading this. I thank God for watching over me through it all. For the past 6 months I have been performing at the same theater doing a different show. This time Joseph and the Amazing Techni-Color Dream Coat. It has been a blast doing this show, but I have felt the push to leave since close to the beginning of this season. Audition for thing when I could and sending email after email I was getting nowhere really. Then from out of no where I get a contract offer from Norwegian Cruise Lines. I was offered a 4 month contract on the Jewel. Then things started to get a little real. I found out a few days later that two of my close friends would be joining me on the same ship! Not only do I have a shorter contract in order to see if I can handle a ship, I am doing it with people i love! Thank you Lord for taking care of me so well!
This contract ports out of NYC and will be going to the Caribbean and also to New England and Canada. This is great because i get the chance to also keep in touch with people easier because i am going to mainly ports in the USA. I know it isn't as glamorous at a European itinerary but I am excited all the same. I have never been to New England in the fall and i can't wait to experience it.
My goals for this contract are to grow in my confidence as not only a performer, but as an individual. I want to learn how to perform as Curtis Wilson and not a character. What a challenge that will be. Getting this somewhat shy and reserved guy to come out of his shell and be a little more vulnerable around strangers. I also want to kind of hone in on what i want. Where do i want to be in 5 years, 10 years? What are my dreams and goals for performing and how am I going to achieve them? What is my next step? In the midst of all of that, I want to grow in learning how to live in the present. I want to value the time I have where i am at. I want to enjoy the here and now, and not get overly wrapped up in what is next. I want to make friends and get to know people better. Last but not least, I want/need to save money. Pray for patience when it comes to finances for me. I tend to get frustrated when it comes to the issue of money. This is a great opportunity for me to learn more than I already have and budget myself well.
This is all going to happen in about 20 days. My heart is full of excitement, but also dreading leaving this place where i am at. I hate saying goodbye. I have made some wonderful friendships while working here. I have grown so much, and as much as I dislike Pigeon Forge at times, it will always have a place in my heart because of where it brought me. I am going to miss my loved ones who I will be leaving here with the hopes of meeting again very very soon. There will be more than a few tears shed. :(
So, I am facing this new step with a happy heart. One that is ready for the challenges ahead and praying for guidance along the way. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I truly cherish them all. For those loved ones who I am speaking of in this letter, you will be missed and my heart will be left in Tennessee with you until you yourself go somewhere else, in which case it will be following you. :) Here we go.....