Its getting close folks

As of right now I have roughly 9 days left here in Pigeon Forge. I am getting anxious and a bit overwhelmed with it all. I finally, after a lot of communication, got all of my medicals and other paperwork sent and it has been received! I also got my plane ticket in an email and I will be departing Springfield Airport at 6:00 AM on the 24th! Ahh. Each day it becomes a little more real. I am leaving very soon!

Today it rained all morning and into the afternoon. I woke up, put on some music, and just chilled out while I ate a late breakfast and enjoyed the sounds of the music and the rain coming down outside. There is something so calming about rain for me. It just rocks this heart of mine with each patter of rain the the ground and soothes it into submission. I am so glad God made it rain today because this emo child needed some calmness and peace in the midst of worrying about everything imaginable. Thank you Wilson family for passing down a long line of worriers and giving that "gift" to me. :) It gives a good opportunity to learn trust though I guess.

I think I worry too much about what is coming next and what will happen next and how am I going to be in control of the next thing. It is overwhelming and not healthy at all. My contract on the ship will be over before I know it and I keep thinking that I have to have the next step planned already. It would be nice, but its not the most realistic. Things are always changing and moving and developing. If I plan my life out so much I will not be able to change as easy when it comes. I won't be able to enjoy the growing experiences that I have because I will be so wrapped up in how am I going to get back to what I planned. It's silly. I am not in control. Never have been, never will be.

So, all that to say, when you think of me friend and family say a little prayer for me. Pray for Peace and assurance that God has the ultimate plan for my life and that he will lead me where he wants me to go. If i start to really rest in that more maybe I will actually truly rest!

p.s. A shout out to those people that have to deal with me on a daily basis right now. Your patience and love are what help make me a little more grounded right now and I THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!