Healthiness and Change

I have several things on my mind right now. All of them are great. Ha. I just feel like this is such a jubilant time in my life. So many things to be thankful for and so many wonderful lessons that I am learning. I am so blessed. First thing on my mind is how wonderful healthy relationships are. There is something so freeing and so comforting about being in a relationship that is healthy and grounded in faith. I feel like you know that a relationship is healthy by the fruit if bears. Just like in our own personal lives. If there is life being given by the relationship, then it is working properly, if not, then I feel like it is dying. For example, right now I am blessed with a wonderful relationship, I know it is healthy because there are good boundaries. We aren’t living in the physical like many relationships do, there are emotional boundaries too that allow us to grow together over time. Relationships are not a race that has to be rushed through. They are like a fine wine ( or juice ;) ) that should be enjoyed. I see life around me being restored and friendships being mended through this relationship. I see an honesty of conversation between the two of us that allows fear to take a back seat. No games, no manipulation, its great. That doesn’t mean it is devoid of any frustrations or insecurities, it just means that in the midst of those things, there is life and freedom. A thing I don’t think I have ever experienced in a relationship until now. I feel like there are so many people who settle, for relationships that they were not intended to be in. I feel people settle for a lack of connection, a lack of attraction, a lack of trust, all for the sake of being in a relationship and feeling loved. From someone who has made that mistake too many times to count, let go. God truly is sufficient. I always would scoff at such a statement, but although it is hard at times, a period of time, weather that be 3 months of 3 years with just an intimacy with God is so restoring and refreshing. Then, if and when it is in God’s plan for us to be in a relationship, you are able to function better, trust more, communicate more freely. You are not dependant on them for everything, to be your rock, because you have a rock in Christ that will never change or go away. This too is something that has to be maintained when relationships do come in. It is easy, if you allow yourself, to get swept away by the feelings and emotions another person might give you, but that goes back to being in a healthy relationship. If that is present and God is there, then that process will be all the easier….not easy….just more grounded. I feel as though I am rambling a bit, but I was just feeling thankful and wanted to express and affirm to others how amazing being in a healthy relationship is, and how worth the wait and patience it is.
On another note, I have been thinking more and more about what is next for me. Am I going to perform forever, or am feeling called in another direction? I am seriously considering going back to school and getting my masters in counseling. I have always enjoyed being able to care for people and listen to their stories. I feel I am blessed with ability to relate to different types of people and love on them well. Obviously not on my own accord, but Christ in me. So, if you would care to join me in prayer about this that would be greatly appreciated. The thought of going back to school is both exciting and scary at the same time. Pray for clarity of thought and direction and ultimately God’s will to be done in my life. Also, financially I feel super scared. I was spoiled by going to C of O and not having any debt, so in some ways I am ahead of the game. In others, I would rather keep myself out of that debt. Ultimately I know God will provide at the right time the steps he wants me to take, and I have just recently signed another contract to be at Sight and Sound Next year. So this would be a process and there is time to make sure it is the right thing for me and what the Lord wants for my life.
So there it is, a little update on the state of affairs with Curtis Wilson. I am blessed beyond measure and truly loved and cared for by my God and the amazing friends and family he has placed in my life.

Thanksgiving!

Today is the one year anniversary of me getting off my ship contract. A week before that point I was told that the relationship I was in at the time was over. One that I had fought so hard for and toiled so much to make work. I got of that ship broken, angry with God, and bitter. I was grieving a life that I had planned out and made my own. I was crushed by the thought of my plan not working and thinking “ Now what am I suppose to do?” I had hit rock bottom emotionally, spiritually, relationally. I thought that I would never move on, I would never, as Sarah Bariellies says, breath again. My how I was wrong. Today, one year later, I am crying after an amazing dinner with two mentors in my life Jim and Jennifer Freeman who have watched me make choice after choice, good and bad, but constantly redirected me back to Christ. My girlfriend Valerie Wilson has had a similar relationship with them. We ended the night with a prayer over Val and I, and rejoicing over all that God has done to heal and direct. To restore and provide. I would like to express some of the restoration Christ has brought in my life now. I am no longer in a position professionally where I have to decide weather to compromise my morals in order to have friends, or get roles. I am no longer disconnected from my family. The restoration that has happened with each member of my family has been amazing. My Dad is truly one of my best friends now. I can call him about anything under the sun and he will be there to give advice if he has any or pray for me. My mother is growing too. I am getting the opportunity to watch her let go of control over her life and allow God to work in and through her. It is such an encouragement to watch. My brother is so intentional now. He will often call and ask if I want to ride bikes or hang out. I feel like we are actually brothers now, and not just two guys who grew up together. I love him, and I appreciate him more and more. He and Chealse both. I am no longer running from the Lord and his will for my life, I am running toward him and yearning for more and more intimacy with my heavenly father. I desire his will for my life more than anything. A year ago, I was blinded by the lust of a relationship that was anything but healthy. Blinded by a lifestyle that only brings about death and disconnect. I was justifying the very toxin that was killing my spirit and removing me from the only life giving thing that I had, which is my relationship with Christ. Thank you Lord for stripping my of my sin and tearing away the brush I allowed to form around my heart. As hard as it has been, I am humbled and blessed by your grace and mercy in my life. Prodigal Sons everywhere will understand that humble feeling when you are embraced after deliberately doing what we know is not right or good. I am ok with being alone. I don’t have to have a relationship with someone to make me happy. I don’t have to have someone by my side affirming me and making me feel loved in order to feel those things. I am confident in Christ’s love for me and he shows that through various relationships in my life and in his word. My significance if found in him, and I pray in continues to grow in that way. I am able to have healthy boundaries with the friendships I do have and the strength to distance myself if I feel the Lord prompting me to do so. I am able to be in a healthy relationship. I have been blessed with an amazing relationship with Valerie Wilson. I wasn’t looking, I wasn’t seeking it out. I was content with where I was at, and then the Lord brings this amazing women into my life. No matter what happens in this relationship, the healing and restoration it has brought and the truth Christ has given through her, has been amazing and I am grateful and blessed. Happy almost 2 months ! J All these things are only possible through the amazing love and provision of my savior. I know this is super churchy and might be a turn off to some who read this, but I cannot boast in anything but the cross of Jesus Christ who died for this restoration to happen. Not just in my life, but yours too. After starting of the year wondering if I would ever ‘breath again’ I am realizing more and more that I’m breathing deeper than ever, and resting in the assurance of God’s plan for my life and trusting that he will be the one to do the work and guide me along the paths I should go. Thank you Lord for this year of growth and healing, I pray you will continue to grow me and guide me.

Sit....Stay....

So, I feel like we are a lot like Dogs. Sounds random, and it kinda is, but let me explain. Ever since I got my little Charlie Dog I feel like I am learning more about the Lord through this little pup. I have the attention span of my little dog sometimes. I see something shiny and I run toward it. I see a cat/ nice piece of tail (haha) and I run after it. I make poor choices because of distraction, and just like I do to Charlie when he starts to run away from me, the Lord is calling us back. “Wait!” “Don’t go in the Street!” “That is going to hurt you!” All these warnings but yet we run. We run until we cant see our master anymore and we have lost our way. We made it across a busy street but now that we are trying to find out way home it seems more like a huge chasm. We try hard to listen for our masters voice so we know which way to go, but it seem like you can’t hear anything but the sound of cars rushing by as you dodge them trying not to get hit. I feel like that is right where Satan wants. Far enough away so that we are too overwhelmed and too distracted to find out way home to our master who loves us. Our master is way more patient with us than I am with Charlie Dog though. I give up or get angry. I get frustrated that my Dog won’t listen and obey me when I am standing right next him. I have to remember though that my dog doesn’t understand. Just like sometimes we don’t understand why. Why do I have this struggle? Why can’t I have this job? This relationship? This control? That is where the patience and grace of our Lord is so sweet. He is always there to encourage and give understanding if we will take a moment and listen. Even if we are so far off the path that we are suppose to be on. The Lord is faithfully calling us home. If we listen for that still small voice and follow, we will find our way back. Through obedience and patience, the voice of our master gets louder and we get closer to home, to safety, to a good life where we are provided for and loved. Although the distractions of this life are many and it is not easy to stay away, we have to realize that all they really lead to are death. They are a steady poison that sneaks up and destroys from the inside. I am so thankful for a Master of loves me enough to bring me home. To call me in the midst of my poor choices and continually point me back to where I need to be. To help with the process of getting home and to rejoice at my return. The story of the Prodigal Son that most all of us have lived at some point in our lives. So lets rejoice fellow Prodigals, this is the day that the Lord has made! Let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Be a Man!

Today I did my first fantasy football draft. If you know me well at all you know that sports really just arent my thing. I never really had a drive to be a part of them or even watch them. That was more of my brother’s arena. While he was going to sports camps and practicing different plays in the playbook, I was practicing piano and roller blading around the neighborhood. I was so thankful for my friends Adam and Lindsey Hood for helping with all of this draft business. I would have been up a creek without them.
While I was doing this I couldn’t help but feel a bit discouraged. In the Midwestern society in which I grew up and currently live it is more valued for a man to know about sports than it is for him to know about the arts. It was a constant thorn in my side growing up feeling like I didn’t measure up due to my lack of interest in athletics. Now, things have changed and there is more confidence there, but I still feel the sting of what was drilled in my brain by my school, and the area in which I lived.
On the spiritual side of this I feel like Satan is going to do anything he can to make me feel insecure or unworthy. This, right now, is just a series of many events the give a little jab at my insecurities. Another example happened at the gas station the other day. I was renting a movie from Redbox and 2 redneck guys get out of their truck and start staring at me as they walk in the store. One of them walks in but the other just stands there and stares. After I finish getting my movie I look over and say “yes?” to which he replies. “Are you wearing make up boy?” (keep in mind I was inbetween shows and had some eyeliner residue. It’s really hard to get off.) I said “Yea, I probably have some hanging on. Im in a show here in town and I am inbetween showings.” To which he ignorantly replied “A show for queers? (the word was stronger, but I edited it)” I responded with “No sir, a show for professionals.” and walked away. 1st off I am always shocked at the gall of people who can approach a total stranger and say things like that. 2nd, I think so many men have been deeply wounded by men like the hicks I encountered. They don’t always take the form of a redneck though. Sometimes they are business men, teachers, family members, or mentors.
I guess the point of this blog is to express that just because you love to leap across a dance floor instead of a hurdle, or hit high notes instead of homeruns, or act like a quarterback in a play instead of actually being one, or painting a portrait instead of writing in a playbook, doesn’t mean that you are any less manly or strong. So, to all my brothers in the arts, let go of the things other men have said or done to make you feel inferior or weak. You are strong and a true man. Be confident!

Catch up! Slowing Down.

So this is going to be a bit of a catch up blog. Lots happening. This summer has just flown by and now the air is starting to chill and that wonderful Autumn feel is making its way into our lives! Not to wish the summer away, but I am thankful for fall being here on the brink. So recently we had auditions and they went super well. I felt so encouraged and affirmed for all that I have worked on and the growth the Lord has blessed me with. I am constantly humbled by how good the Lord has been at providing for me at just the right time.
After auditions we had a week and a half of rehearsals for the Christmas show. Talk about a lot of learning. I felt like I was back in college again and enjoyed every second of what I was being taught. I think I have a new appreciation for learning now that I am out in the real world. It is exciting. Due to one of the guys playing Joseph being out I was put into the rehearsals much more than I had anticipated. It pushed me out of my comfort zone a ton but allowed form some great discoveries both as an actor and as a child of God. To learn more about the birth of my savior was so refreshing. My biggest prayer right now is that this learning and growing in my relationship with Jesus will continue, and thrive even more. That my desire for him would be greater and that intimacy stronger. Beginning to truly abide in Christ and learn from his word. Went off on a tangent there....sorry. haha
After a lot of work in rehearsals I escaped to Vermont for a few days to visit my amazing Aunt and Uncle, John and Mary Wilson. Talk about a relaxing visit. I spent a lot of time eating amazing food and drinking some wonderful wines. I relaxed by the lake and kayaked around exploring an island in the middle of it. I had an amazing hike with my uncle where there was no one else on the mountain but us. Disconnected for a bit and allowed to slow down and enjoy some peace and quiet. Not even hurricane Earl could ruin my time. I just stayed indoors for one day and read and listened to music and ate wonderful food prepared by my aunt and uncle. While I was there I got to spend some time with my Cousin Devin and his wife and Kids. The kids have grown up so so much. I took Logan and Guinevere out on the lake in the canoe and it was a blast. Logan and I paddling and Guinevere directing the way. Really great kids. The trip was way too short, but I enjoyed every second of it. Thanks John and Mary for yet another amazing visit to Vermont.
I returned back to Missouri and got back in the swing of things here. It was surreal for me at first. Going from all the pressure of rehearsing for a bigger role to going back into the smaller one I thankfully have now, I felt like I wasn't doing enough. Like I was missing something. haha. It's good to be back though and not that the weather is cooler I feel the constant draw to be outdoors. Charlie dog and I have spent most of our days outside walking or going to the park. We went to the lake today with my dear friend Casey Chambers and enjoyed this perfect day. Having the sweet tooth that I have I decided to finish out my day by making a cake. My mother trained me to be a baker so I am going to use those skills. Although it will lead to me dancing in the back due to love handles. haha.
So, I will close now as a blessed me and continuing to be so. I am thankful for all that I have been given and humbled because I deserve none of it. Wind is blowing outside and through the leaves and I can hear the sweet sound of my wind chime. Natures orchestra. I can't help but feel at peace and loved beyond compare. Blessed man I am.

Summer Update

It has been a bit since I last wrote, so I thought I would give a quick update. Right now I am enjoying living back in Branson. Never thought it a million years that I would say that, but I genuinely am enjoying my time. My apartment is still enjoyable and living alone, although lonely at times, is a nice bit of solitude. I adopted a dog from the local humane society to help with the lonely part of living alone, and he has been a hand full. I am enjoying having this little companion around though. Keeps me from becoming a couch potato on these super hot summer days. His name is Charlie and he is a Blue Heeler mix. The challenge is learning how to train him. This summer is incredibly hot. I had forgotten how sweltering Missouri summers get. At least in Tennessee, you could escape to the mountains and the cooler temperatures that they hold. Sweet relief is not found in the humid hills here. Soon, fall will be here though. Time is flying by. In the next month I will be finding out what role I will be playing in the Christmas show here at Sight and Sound and also preparing for auditions for next year’s season. Also, I get to have a bit of vacation in August and I will be 100% ready for that break when it comes. Lots of growth personally has been happening for me. Everything from learning how to be content with being single, to growing as a singer/ performer, to learning more spiritually. Things are good. Discouragement happens from time to time, and I guess that is just an opportunity to turn that into even more of a drive to be better, to work harder, to grow more. Although those moments are frustrating at times, I am thankful for them. I think for me, it has been so nice to get away from that old self focus all the time. What about me!? What about what I want?! It has been nice to take that focus away and send it toward my family, or friends, or co-workers. Caring for them and building relationships with them has been almost more enriching than anything I strive to do for my own self. It has a way of keeping things in perspective in my own life even. I am very thankful. I guess that is about all for now. I will be writing more soon hopefully.

Turning the Wheel!

So, Obedience is a pain in the back side. I have spent the past 2 years running away from the Lord and seeking what I want, and my desires for instant gratification. After a ton of heartache and pain, I finally made the choice to listen to the prompting of a heavenly father who so desperately missed his beloved son. Turning, truly turning away from something, causes some pain. Rubber is left of the pavement, blood is spilled on the floor. Turning exposes the wounds that have been covered so well by the choices that give instant gratification. You are left feeling raw.
Right now, for me, I am learning to live in that obedience again. Following what the Lord has for me and seeking his will for my life. Receiving amazing healing in my heart from God’s word and from amazing friends who have surrounded me and spoken truth, life giving truth, into my life. In making these changes, I am seeing a large amount of pruning that is needing to be done in my life. Just like weeding a garden I have to get down in the dirt of my poor choices and remove the things that don’t bring truth into my life. The things that aren’t life giving. These changes are wonderful, and gaining that intimacy with the Lord is worth the work, but it is also exhausting. Right now, I have choices every day to be obedient to not. To follow or not. To learn, or to remain stagnant. Being entrenched in my sin for so long, there is a lot more to sort though now. A lot more heart issues that need to be healed and dealt with. For those I have hurt in the carnage of my poor choices, I am sincerely sorry.
I guess the point of writing all this is to say, keep me in your thoughts and prayers right now. Just wanting to make a good new start and really get back on track with where I need to be in my life. Also, for those who might be in the same spot, I guess this is to say, you are not alone. It get’s better. Truly it does. That doesn’t mean it is easy, but the peace and the real joy that comes from obedience far surpasses anything else this world can offer. I promise you that.

Learning to Be Still

So, I am settling into my new job and my house, and into this whole new chapter here in Branson. It has been really great. I am looking forward to summer here in the Ozarks and spending time at the Lake and enjoying all the fun of the outdoors here. Maybe even get a bit of a tan in the process and bleach out this naturally blonde hair of mine even more. haha. As far as my house goes, I just have a few more finishing touches and it should be complete. Feels so good to have my own place.
For the first time in awhile I feel drama free and genuinely happy. It is amazing when you start to remove the dirt and grime from your life how much of a rejuvenating effect it has. Like a exfoliating wash in a persons life. Haha. That being said, I think for the past couple years I have grown so accustom to the drama and heartache and just junk in my life, that now that a lot of it is gone I have this weird….bored feeling. I know that might not make sense to some, it kind of doesn’t make sense to me. I guess I was so busy making sure I was being all things to all people, and trying my best to balance so many parts of my life, that I was always busy. Always on the go. Now, I wake up and I read. I enjoy some time outside. I cook. I take dance classes. I take voice lessons. I work. I sit still and enjoy my life! Right now, I guess the best way to describe all of this is a delightful stillness. It is something that is taking some getting use to, but I am happy for it.

So Fresh and So Clean!

It has been awhile since I last got on here and blogged. To get everyone up to date on me, I am currently living in Branson, Missouri where I am working at one of the local theaters in town. It has been a huge adjustment coming back here and realizing that I won’t be leaving for awhile. I was planning on going out on another ship, but through a series of events, I decided I needed to stay put for awhile and kind of recharge and redirect my life. God has been faithful to me in this decision and is doing such an amazing work in my life and my heart.
I have my own one bedroom apartment in downtown Branson which I am loving. I started out this 25th year of my life feeling kind of weird that I was 25 and didn’t even own a couch. All I had could fit in a couple Rubbermaid containers. Now I own a sleeper sofa, 2 chairs, a micro wave, bookshelves, etc, etc. I am no longer a gypsy….for now anyway. Haha. It has been really great having my own place though and being able to decorate and make it my own. I am really loving it. Now when I go shopping, instead of looking for clothes, I end up going to Kirklands and looking at housewares. It has been amazing to see the Lord love on me through other people too. I have dishes and pieces of furniture and decorating items that were all just given to me. Talk about humbling and amazing at the same time. My community of believers that I work with has just surrounded me with love. Christ’s love in them is so great and has been so encouraging.
In the midst of all of this change and excitement of starting a new job and having a new place of my own, I find myself lacking emotions. I generally consider myself an emotional person who is not afraid to show it. I think I am finding and learning more that being emotional doesn’t mean crying all the time or going on the rollercoaster of ups and downs, it means understanding emotions better and allowing them to be present, but not letting them rule you. That is a new feeling for me so it has been interesting to adjusting to this new emotional maturity. Thank you Lord for that blessing.
The fellowship that I have here is so sweet and so rich already, but I find myself still feeling alone. The curse of the bachelor. You get the freedom and excitement, but you have to take the empty house when you go home and the loneliness that can sneak in. I have found in this loneliness that the Word has become my source of restoration even more. My jealous heavenly father finally got me to sit still and through his Word he is finally getting back the intimacy that he has been missing….and I have been missing for that matter. Thank you Lord for this blessing.
I went to church with a friend this past Sunday and I cannot tell you how much of a homecoming it was. I got out of my car and 2 ladies that I love from my time at C of O were talking in the parking lot. They both looked over at me and stopped everything. Hugs were exchanged and a quick catch up on life ensued. I walked hand in hand with one of them into the church where he husband was. He took one look at me and almost started crying. “It is so good to see you again Curtis. Welcome home.” he said. I felt like the prodigal son returned. Immediately after that, a couple who I had traveled to Africa and Portugal with during college caught me and we exchanged hugs and just loved on each other a bit. With each interaction I felt my spirit being lifted and realized that maybe this is God’s way of showing me, yet again, this is where he wants me right now. There were many more reuniting moments that Sunday, but the sweet fellowship that day was like a spring of water in my heart. I drank deep and was encouraged. Thank you Lord for this blessing.
So I guess the word of the day is restoration. This year, I feel, is my year of restoration and learning. To put things back that were lost. To sew up old wounds and address them so that real healing can take place. To restore relationships on an earthly level, and also those with my heavenly father. To learn more about my craft of performing and praise the Lord with it. It is Spring time right now, what better time to usher in new growth and new beginnings than this. Thank you Lord of this Amazing Blessing and this wonderful new chapter in my life. Strengthen me and grow me.

Making the Cut

It is the heart of winter right now in Missouri and a massive blizzard is heading in. This does not inspire a lot of excitement around here because a blizzard here means ice...not pretty snow....just tons of ice. No one really knows the carnage that awaits us here. Missouri has a way of surprising you with it's weather....one of the reasons I love and hate this state all at the same time. haha.

In the midst of this oncoming blizzard and weather change, there is also a lot of change going on for me personally. I think right now, after being home for awhile and around familiar faces, I realized how much I truly love it here. It is boring at times, but I am truly surrounded with love and support and that is way more important to me. That being said....I was called recently by a Regional Theater and asked if I would be interested in being a part of their upcoming season. This is such a hard decision for me. On the one hand, I have an amazing offer to go on a cruise ship and save a bit of money while traveling through Europe. On the other, I have a job with a great company where I will have benefits and actually a bit of security as far as a job goes in the performing world. Plus, I would be surrounded with friends.

So, processing through all of this is a bit of a load on the brain right now. I know that the right decision will present itself. I don't really think there is a wrong decision in this, considering in both cases, I have a job doing what I love. Which is more than a lot of performers can say.

In addition to the changes vocationally, I am feeling the need to do some pruning in my life. Some evaluating of friendships, and if they are worth really pursuing anymore. I think in the performing world you get a lot of fake. We act for crying out loud.....pretty much professional liars if you think about it. lol. That being said, I feel that as I approach the ripe old age of 25 in just a couple weeks, I want to go into this next chapter surrounded by people who truly love and care for me. I really cannot be bothered with the fake friendships anymore. They cause more drama than happiness, and this sometimes over-caring heart, can't handle the burden of being walked on by people anymore.

Now, that sounds a bit like a pitty party, but I assure you, every friendship/ relationship I have been in has taught me something, and allowed me to grow in a different way. That is the whole point of community with people. Different people are around for different seasons in order to challenge us and grow us; and vice versa. I think I just realize now that some of those friendships just need to be put behind me.

It is like running a race and realizing half way through that you have been wearing weights all over your body. After taking a moment and removing the extra not needed weight, you are rejuvenated. You are able to leap higher and jump faster and breath deeper. You can take on the rest of the race with more strength too, because you have built up endurance in the midst of carrying so much extra, that was never intended for you to carry.

I think that is like those draining friendships. The ones that you keep around because you do care for the person, but at the same time realize that they aren't good for you. Where as those friendships have been put in your life for a purpose, I think it is how we react to them that can teach us the lesson. How we show them love and kindness that we would show anyone, but realize that investing too much would be a bad investment indeed. The losses would be greater than the gains.
So, there you have it folks. Just a bit of blunt honesty. For me this blog has always been a good place to process though decisions or thoughts that I have. So I guess this one fits in. lol Feel free to comment. What makes a friendship worth keeping? What determines what ones need to be pruned out?

Wedding Bells, and Good times!

I had the amazing opportunity to be able to go to one of my best friends weddings this past week in Orlando. What an amazing celebration we had. I think about the week long celebrations that took place in Biblical times, and I think this would be as close as I could get to one. From the moment my plane landed i felt swept up in the current of excitement and joy for my 2 friends who were about to tie the knot.
Day one-I landed early evening with just enough time to drop my things off at the hotel and then change and make it to a wonderful dinner at Wolfgang Pucks in Downtown Disney. Having a great meal with a bunch of friends that I haven't see in awhile was so refreshing. Conversations were easy, even with the new friends I had just made. I love these people!
Day two- My friend Chris works at Disney and was nice enough to let me and a couple of friend get into the Magic Kingdom for FREE!! Amazing, especially considering that one of those passes is about 90 dollars. yikes! Anywho, if you want a full description of the fun there you can look at my previous blog. It was magical! After that was the bachelorette party which I opted to go to considering the Bride, Erika, is my bestie. Let me just say this....being surrounded by about 18 Latin women is probably the most fun anyone can have. We ate well, we laughed hard, and we danced the night away! SO MUCH FUN!!!
Day three- Lunch with my friend Chris and catch up time on life. I miss that guy! It is always great to get together with people you haven't seen for awhile and see where they are at. Warms me wee heart! Later that night we had the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner! More food, laughter, and fun! Since I went back to Missouri after my ship contract I didn't get to see some of the people that I really loved back in TN. It was so nice to have the opportunity to see them there though. SO MUCH FUN! Ended up staying the night with friends at their condo and using the hot tub and playing games!
Day four- The Wedding!!! Had an amazing Brunch with the Groomsmen at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. Wish nice to have some man time. haha Then made my way to the wedding after a quick bite to eat at a nice bistro with my friend Brandy. The wedding was wonderful. Erika looked like something out of a magazine! She was stunning! So blessed and proud to call this lady my sister. The Bridesmaids were beautiful the Groomsmen were dashing and it was a beautiful ceremony. :) I cried....oh course. After the beautiful wedding we had the reception and enjoyed a beautiful night. The room was decorated beautifully and the mix of cultures brought so much life to the dance floor. I don't think I left the dance floor most of the evening. Met some new friends and ate some more great food.
Day 5- Spent the morning with my friend Mary had a nice chat and enjoyed a great breakfast. Nice and greasy. lol Then made my way to Disney again and watched my friend Chris perform there. Ended the day with a nice Italian meal.
My time in Orlando was a whirlwind of activity. I had so much fun. I felt like a baby when I left the reception because I was saying goodbye to people who I dearly love. People that I won't see again for a while. That is the hard thing about this gypsy lifestyle that I live. You build relationships with people and grow with them and then eventually you have to move on. The stability of familiar surroundings and friends is not there as much for me. I am blessed irregardless though because I have a broad group of friends who challenge me and encourage me in different ways. Allows me to be a more well rounded person I feel. :) So, I wasn't one of the people giving toasts at the wedding, but i will give one now.
Chris and Erika, You are two people who have seen me through a lot of growing pains as I started on my journey into the working world. Chris being my room mate when I first moved to Tennessee, and Erika being my best friend at The Miracle Theater. Chris, I always knew you would tell me things straight. I enjoyed spending time with you because you really did remind me of my older brother....only cooler sometimes ( sorry Justin haha) I knew you cared for me and that meant a lot. Erika, from our first wine night I knew that I could trust you with anything. You have been so consistent as a friend in my life and have really looked out for me. You are the big sister that I always wanted. You saw me through some difficult changes in so many areas of my life and I am forever grateful for you. The first Christmas I was going to have to spend alone, you and Chris invited me over and even had a couple gifts for me. :) You are my family, my friends, and I love and respect you both. I wish you all the happiness in the world and hope to see you soon. Cheers! p.s. If your first child is a boy. I will gladly allow you to name him Curtis :)

Oh the Wonderful World of Disney

I recently had the opportunity to go to Disney World for the first time ever. Thanks to my friend Chris, I was able to get into several of the parks. The first park I visited was Magic Kingdom. I figured if I was going to really experience Disney, then Magic Kingdom was the best place to start. After parking my car I made my way to the Monorail and I started to get more excited.
As we rode to the park you could see the other parks in the distance and you really got a feel that this really is a kingdom. Disney covers everything around for miles and miles. Then, in the distance you see the castle. I practically skipped off the monorail, passed through the turnstile, and walked into this truly Magical Kingdom. I couldn't stop smiling as I passed kids with mickey ears on, cast members carrying huge bundles of balloons, and various different characters that I grew up watching. Slowly made my way down Mainstreet USA and realized they were having a show in front of the castle. I stood there still smiling. I had become a kid once again.
After finishing that show I walked around some more. My mouth hanging open as I took in these different parts of the park. I walked through the Swiss Family house and imagined being a part of that movie. I road through the Haunted Mansion and marveled at the spectacle of it all. They actually looked like ghosts! Then I made my way to the Philarmagic show. I am not going to lie...I cried a little as I watched this. It just takes you back to your childhood and that simple time in life. This ride engages all of your senses. I could sing along with all my favorite songs from Disney movies, I felt like I was actually on a magic carpet ride. I loved it! After that I jumped over to another show in the Hall of Presidents. This show just left me feeling proud to be an American and grateful for the freedoms that I have here. It was incredible how real these anametronic men looked. When the screen lifted and President Lincoln gave a speech, I thought at first it was an actor on that stage. So cool!
There were so many more adventures at that park. I am so glad that I got to go and experience all of it. I am also glad I got to see a good friend perform while I was there. I now know what all the hype is about when people talk about Disney. They really do an amazing job at bringing the magic to life.

So....is it going to be Catch Phrase... or Farkle ?

Games. We all play them at some point in our lives. Some of us play innocent games like Scrabble or Pictionary, and then others play games of the heart. Games in relationships, in my opinion are stupid and I am learning that I have zero patience for them.
What is it that inspires us to play these games. Flirting is one thing. We playfully banter back and forth with the person we are attracted to, in hopes that it will spark some conversation or deepen the attraction. Then it comes to the point where you have to acknowledge where the relationship is going, and the games begin. Skirting around the issue. Not wanting to say an answer one way or another, so you play hard to get. Hard to get ahold of, you stop answering calls or lessen the amount of times you text. So, what makes us so afraid? Why do we fear making a decision so much that we play a gave, of avoidance really?
I think the obvious answer is to protect ourselves. We get in situations where we are flattered by what is going on and what people are saying to us, and it takes you down a road that leads to real heartache. When the person that is not as attracted realizes that, they start to squirm because they know that inevitably they are going to cause some hurt feelings. So why not be blunt ?
Just like a band aid, why not just rip it off and let the sting happen if it is inevitable anyway? Why play the games and lead someone to believe that you still might be interested? I think in our society today we are so selfish and out for number one, that we forget to care for others and take their feeling into account. We don't want to feel any worse about ourselves, so by avoiding hurting others, we avoid hurting our-self. Games are just a mask for future hurt.
I think most of us have experienced this. Where we get ourselves into a tough spot and have to make a choice in order to get out. For me, I would like to apologize right now, to anyone who I have treated this way. As boring as my time in Missouri is right now without a job, it has allowed me an opportunity to reflect on areas of my life in which I would like to change. I, Curtis Wilson, am a selfish man. By the grace of God I have the opportunity make choices to change that though.
So, my challenge to those who read my blog is this....and not to quote John Mayer but........say what you need to say. If you are in a situation and you have reached that point where some real tough honesty is necessary..... then speak that honesty. Yea, it might be tough, but in the long run you will be respected for it and avoid alot more hurt.

It's a New Year Ya'll

So, the page has turned and we have started this new year of 2011. What journey awaits us!!! Right now I am in Missouri spending time with friends and family, and just being plain bored. I have no job right now and I am surviving off of my savings until I start my next cruise ship contract. I guess being away for awhile I forgot how little there is to do in this small town. I feed my coffee addiction with the little coffee joints that are here that I love. I have found a couple new places that I enjoy. Movie theaters, restaurants, etc. but then I realize that there really is nothing else. I have been spoiled with travel and amazing places with loads to do. I have gotten use to moving all the time and having something to occupy myself....and now.....I have the rolling hills of Missouri. I love this place and I loathe it all at the same time.

This also is kind of a bummer because I love writing on this blog. It is such a wonderful way to process though different events in my life, and right now.......nothing is happening. I talked to my good friend Cat the other day and she said that she had started a blog. It is Hilarious!!! Makes me laugh until I pee. I think it was what I needed to start getting some new inspiration to write on this. So, here's to a new year of travel, of adventures, of growth, and living. Get ready to have some random blogs for the next bit though as I search for something interesting and exciting to do and experience in Missouri!