Lightning

So, Tampa is evidently the lightning capitol of the world. I believe it too. Every evening you can look up in the sky and see lightning! It is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen really. On one of my days off a huge storm rolled in and i watched as lightning was going crazy and then the rain just started coming down. Looked as though it were falling sideways. I wouldn't want to be someone out and about in those conditions but for me, it added a nice soothing effect to my lazy afternoon.
I am learning a lot. It is hard for me sometimes to work without affirmation. To do things and give your all and not get noticed for it. Welcome to the real world Curtis. Not everyone is going to give you a pat on the back for a job well done. hahaha. In learning that I am growing in the area of finding my self worth from other people. It has always been a struggle of mine. If someone doesn't like me or think that i am good enough it tears my heart apart. I hate that feeling. I am thanking God though, even though it is hard on me, for this lesson again. I am sure it will not be the last time either.
In a conversation with my love last night I was reminded of how much I am an emotional person and even though I hate to admit it, I let them control me. Lesson number 2 right now is learning to let things go. Learning to address how I feel about something and then move on and not let it effect me so much. I love that I am an emotional person, but I hate that it can control almost everything about me. In reality when you think about it, it's kind of like a little kid throwing a tantrum because they didn't get their way. We all have that kid in us. That when we are not in control, or we don't get something we want, or our feeling are hurt, we throw our tantrum either internally or externally. Some have learned to manage this inner spoiled child better. I am still learning. That is all I really have for now. I am heading down to the continental breakfast where I am sure some delicious food is waiting for me.....that is being sarcastic of course. lol
To my love, thanks for being patient. You are so good to me. I thank God for bringing you into my life and for the encouragement you give. Thanks for challenging me and being there along the way. I love you!